30 Things Happy Couples Never Do To Each Other

Having a strong, long-lasting relationship takes a lot of work and cooperation between two people who come from differing backgrounds. Each partner brings to their marriage different expectations and ideas that must merge as the relationship grows and matures into one that will withstand time and trials that will surely come. The couple must work together and avoid bad habits that are a detriment to the formation of a healthy alliance. By avoiding the traps mentioned in this article, yours can be a relationship that lasts for many years to come.

1. Avoid the blame game. This game can ruin a wonderful relationship that is beginning to grow and develop. Men usually excel at this game when they are caught doing something their partner would not like. Women tend to blame men when they are upset. A bad mood, a stressful day, or an illness can cause her to blame the man for something that he is clueless about.

2. Don’t run out of things to talk about. Conversation is the key to a happy and comfortable relationship. Begin the day by asking how your mate slept. If possible, share conversations by phone. At the end of the day, ask how the day went and again share the events of the day. Communication is a must in a happy relationship.

3. Don’t air your personal laundry in public. Never argue with your partner in public. Sometimes friends will try to cause problems between a couple just to see how they will react. Handle your personal differences in the privacy of your home and when no one else is around.

4. Don’t speak badly about your mate. Sometimes people bring up trivial habits or idiosyncrasies about the other person which will cause them embarrassment or feelings of ill will. Always be positive and encouraging to your mate.

5. Don’t hide feelings about which you disagree. Differences in a relationship might seem like a threat, but how you discuss and handle these differences can add strength and power to your relationship. Bring out your differences and search for ways to work through them. By examining differences, you can renew your team effort in facing adversity.

6. Leave the small talk and superficial discussions for social gatherings. The conversations you have should be energetic, exciting, and have substance. Challenging the thinking of your partner will cause them to grow right along with you. Don’t spend valuable time speaking about unimportant topics.

7. Don’t continually make negative statements to your partner. Being negative sets that same tone for the development of your relationship. Negativity erodes self-confidence, self-worth, and the confidence that is essential for a couple to grow.

8. Don’t give up! About 80% of all married couples consider divorce at some time in their relationship. Persevering during difficult times makes your relationship stronger and more meaningful.

9. Don’t be lazy when it comes to working out problems. A relationship takes a lot of hard work and effort. Happiness depends how mutual your commitment is not how intense it is. Work together as a team to climb those hills and ford those streams of adversity.

10. Don’t keep score. Try to clear your mind periodically of events that have happened, words that have been said or injustices that have been levied against you. Keeping score on who did what to whom only serves to foster ill will and hurt feelings that will fester into an infected relationship.

11. Don’t forget to forgive. If you have been treated unfairly or you feel maligned in some way, it’s best to discuss this promptly with your partner and get all issues on the table. After a lively discussion, forget and forgive your partner.

12. Don’t smother your partner. Give them space to pursue their own interests and dreams and goals while you provide support for them. Allow your partner to accomplish tasks on their own which will develop their feelings of self-worth. A person who is happy with their own life will make a much more congenial mate. The power of independence makes a relationship stronger.

13. Don’t neglect your prayer life together. Surveys show that 75% of couples who pray together say that their marriages are extremely happy compared to the 57% of partners who don’t pray together. Prayer is not a quick fix for a troubled relationship, but it goes a long way to keeping a couple connected spiritually.

14. Don’t cheat. Happy couples are so devoted to the success of the relationship that infidelity is not even a word in their marriage vocabulary. Having a strong moral conviction in your marriage employs trust and honesty. These attributes are the backbone of a happy couple.

15. Don’t accumulate things to make your relationship work. Working together on a family budget will facilitate harmony and peace. You should not be materialistic in hopes that material things will make you happy as a couple. As you begin your relationship, take small steps in becoming financially stable; purchase only what you can afford together. Set goals and work toward them in a methodical fashion.

16. Don’t narrowly define your roles or limit them in the relationship. Because of the economic climate in today’s world, salaries, opportunities, and working relationships have changed dramatically. Men can be stay-at-home dads while moms become the breadwinner of the family. Honor each person’s contribution to the good of the family and work hard at the task with which you have been charged.

17. Don’t forget to have weekly dates. A happy couple will continue to have dates after they are married. Excitement doesn’t wane and relationships don’t falter when a time is set aside each week for complete devotion to your partner. This should be a special time where some favorite restaurant or hobby is shared and enjoyed. This play time will make dealing with serious issues or events much easier to handle when they come. Prepare for challenging events by spending time to enjoy each other’s company thus building your team skills for handling stress.

18. Don’t forget birthdays. A birthday is a special event and should be shared by a happy couple. If you can’t remember dates very easily, record it on your calendar which will remind you.

19. Don’t forget anniversaries. This is a special occasion for any couple who has stood the test of time and trials and invested their time in a happy relationship. A small token of your love and admiration should be offered lovingly to your partner.

20. Don’t open your partner’s mail. Respect the privacy of your mate in every aspect of the relationship and mail is a small step that you can use to demonstrate this.

21. Don’t judge. It’s easy to look at a person involved in a situation and project what you would do onto that person’s behavior. A smile can hide a lot of tears and pain. Sometimes your judgmental attitude will curtail a healthy discussion or a good solution to a problem. You must respect the feelings of your partner and understand they may only need you to listen.

22. Don’t always try to “fix” things. Many times your partner will only need you to listen to their problem or concern. If you jump in to fix the situation, you will miss an excellent opportunity to enrich your relationship by just being there for them in their time of need.

23. Don’t try to be a mind reader! You have to share with your partner your dreams, hopes, desires, and thoughts. You cannot expect them to miraculously know what you are feeling or thinking. Misunderstandings arise when couples assume what their partner is intending. A vibrant relationship depends on honesty and open communication. Talking is the fuel that drives your happy, healthy relationship.

24. Don’t be dishonest. You won’t have any inner peace if you constantly lie and have to keep up with what untruth you told last. Live your life with your spouse in a manner that demonstrates fairness, reliability, and integrity.

25. Don’t take your spouse for granted. Show your spouse appreciation by cheering them on as they accept challenges that will cause them to grow as an individual. Be happy for their progress and encourage them to reach for their personal goals and ambitions. Openly be thankful for the devotion they show to you and the happiness you experience as a couple.

26. Don’t forget to say those three important words. Hearing “I love you” is the bond that holds any relationship together. Your partner knows that you love them but they want to HEAR it just like when you first began to date. Say it only when you mean it but say it often enough to make a difference in your relationship.

27. Don’t control the remote. In many homes, whoever controls the remote is king! Share the duties of selecting the programs you will watch together and try to choose something that you both like. There will be times when each of you wants to hibernate and watch something that appeals ONLY to you but when you’re together, don’t demand control of the remote.

28. Don’t seem indifferent when your spouse is ill or not feeling up to par. It’s called TLC (tender loving care) for a reason and that reason can underline the caring and compassion of any relationship. Prepare a soup or beverage that will comfort the ailing partner. Take them a favorite book or magazine to their bedside and offer to read to them if they would like. When you become ill yourself, you will gladly find that the gentle touch will be repaid. Expressing concern when someone is suffering conveys more than words ever could say.

29. Don’t stay up working or watching TV long after your partner has gone to bed. This is inconsiderate of the spouse who has to arise early and be off to work. It also keeps the feeling alive that began your relationship; you couldn’t wait to be together and live happily ever after. Make sure that everything is fine with your spouse as they begin to relax for the night.

30. Don’t walk ahead of your partner. Happy couples are comfortable to hold hands in public and walk side by side. One should not lag behind and the other should not speed ahead as if they are in charge! It is important to share the beauty of your walk as companions not competitors in a race.

26 Quick Tips On Reigniting Your Relationship

1. Begin to think like a couple thinks. You want to be an effective team during this rebuilding process so you must begin to think like an efficient team. You can’t be selfish nor can you be so independent that you won’t give up ideas that an individual would use in problem solving or other situations that might arise. You want to approach everything as a couple so together you can reap double the rewards.

2. You have to give your spouse space. You can’t smother them and control their every move. You must encourage them to seek hobbies and interests that will strengthen their self-confidence and self-esteem. Let them develop as a person and they will respond favorably to you and your development as an individual.

3. Be patient. Not one of us is perfect and in your relationship rebuilding process, you must be patient and love your mate with compassion and caring. Be flexible in your reactions and responses. Take time to think before you speak something that might cause a backset in what you have worked so hard to rebuild. Don’t be in a hurry; rebuilding a relationship will take time.

4. Respect each other. This is an expansive area that requires particular attention to all facets of personality and habits. You must respect each other’s values, privacy, career, and character. Learn to appreciate their sense of humor and their point of view. Be strong for them when they are weak and respect their efforts and choices. Respect will be the stone that is placed on top of the cornerstone of your relationship. It sets the tone for your marriage and its success or failure.

5. Make time to work on the rebuilding of your relationship. Everyone is busy with hectic careers and families but time is of the essence when a relationship is broken and is in need of repair. Compare your schedules and “pencil in” your spouse for some down time. You can use this time to select any of the methods listed thus far and work with them. The more time you set aside to spend together, the faster the healing will permeate through your interactions.

6. Plan a date night. As you look at the schedules, make time to take your spouse out for a date like you used to enjoy. It should be just the two of you and should include an activity that you both enjoy doing. Try not to discuss the children, problems at work, or repairs needed around the house. You are working on what needs the most repairs as you communicate on this evening out.

7. Go out with other couples. You should have some friends that you see on a regular basis as a couple. You don’t have to dine out at expensive restaurants; you can cook a meal together in someone’s home or just sit and have snacks. Engage in good, strong communication and share experiences and thoughts on a variety of subjects. This will give each spouse a chance to connect with people who are going through some of the same issues that youare going through. Laugh, enjoy, and be yourself; this will make your relationship stronger too.

8. Don’t complain. You should be as positive as you can be in the situation. No one likes to be around someone who is negative and never has anything good to say. Complaining will dampen your spirits and cause your relationship rebuilding process to stagnate.

9. Stop judging yourself and others. You are wasting valuable time and effort when you continually judge your spouse or yourself too harshly. You have to get past the past and dive into a brighter, more positive future.

10. Have conversations about things that don’t really matter. By discussing things that are not crucial to your relationship and are not a source of conflict, you open communication lines that can later be used to discuss the more pressing issues and concerns. This way, you can become accustomed to carrying on a good conversation with your spouse and deal more efficiently with the problems at hand.

11. Forgive yourself. You have to forget the past and move toward a better and brighter future and the sooner you forgive yourself, the sooner the healing process can being. Try to forget the guilt you are carrying around and understand that this is a big stumbling block in the rebuilding of your relationship with your spouse.

12. Take baby steps as you work through the rebuilding process. You cannot expect success to come overnight. Take things easy and at a pace that is comfortable for you and your spouse. If you get in a big hurry to get things “back to normal” you will take two steps forward and three steps backward every time you encounter another problem. A slow, easy, deliberate pace is the best method for success.

13. Address every problem that is wrong in your relationship. You can’t skip this step in the process. Just like a house infested with termites, your relationship cannot stand to built on a foundation that is still infested with the same problems. You must exterminate all problems that caused the breakdown of your relationship and start fresh with a clean foundation.

14. Maintain the changes you are making and make them work for you and your spouse. You can’t just make these changes and adjustments in a relationship and forget about them. Monitor them and the results they are bringing to you daily and modify them when you need to.

15. Strive for change. Many couples go through the healing process, make changes, and the return to their old habits and ways of doing things. They are destined to make the same mistakes that caused the breakdown of their relationship in the first place. You don’t want your relationship to return to the way it was; strive for a new and improved version.

16. Control your stress. Whether it’s at work or at home, make sure that you control your stress and maintain a balance in your moods and reactions to events. Stress is an unhealthy by-product of worry and fear. If you have it under control, it will not control you, your life, your spouse or your relationship. There are many techniques involving exercising that will reduce stress levels dramatically.

17. Be comfortable with who you are. Don’t try to put on a facade that most people will see through and one that will make you miserable. Be true to yourself, who you are, what you believe, and what you are about. Self-discovery is a key in developing and maintaining a strong relationship with your mate.

18. Don’t keep secrets. If you do keep a secret and it eventually is found out, more damage will be done to your relationship building than you can imagine. Secrets eat away at trust and honesty and jeopardize any success of rebuilding that you might have.

19. Demonstrate faith in your relationship and your partner. You will have to encourage your partner and regain trust and the faith that has been compromised. Let them know you believe in them and your relationship; show them that it’s worth the effort to save.

20. Bumps in the road of the rebuilding process are to be expected. Keep all of your discussions and business with each other out in the open. Don’t make mountains out of molehills and be reasonable. Avoid unfair demands on their time, skills, or attitudes about the process taking place.

21. Don’t for get to be courteous in all of your dealings with your spouse. Be open to their suggestions and ideas and relate to them in an encouraging way. Good manners are always in style and by being courteous to your spouse you will show them that you really do care about them.

22. Always do what is right. Even if no one is watching, do what is right for you and your relationship. Give them credit when they deserve it and let them know that you are working on your weaknesses with their help and guidance. Always keep your commitments on your mind.

23. Be aware of improvements in your relationship and discuss them with your partner. As you see progress being made and changes occurring, bring these to the attention of your spouse and make strong, positive comments about how bright the future looks. Keeping progress at the forefront of daily discussions will foster even more progress. Build on these successes and watch them multiply and healing proceed rapidly.

24. Don’t compare yourself to other couples. Some couples seem like they have the perfect relationship but you can rest assured that all couples have their issues. You need to concentrate on your relationship rebuilding efforts and avoid paying attention to the perfect couple next door. Your issues have arisen for a particular reason and your goal should be to address these problems immediately before they worsen.

25. Set aside time for intimacy. Being intimate with your spouse is fulfilling one of your basic needs. It may take some time for this part of the relationship to revive itself, but careful attention to all of the tips above will help to assure you that the commitments that you have made to each other as a couple will once again be honored.

26. Know what your limits are. Building a broken relationship is a task that is hard work and takes a lot of understanding and effort. Sometimes you will need to step back and take a look at the relationship to see how it is improving and changing. This will sharpen your perspective on the methods that are working for you and those that are not. It will enable you to make better modifications that will aid in healing. Listen to your heart and your spouse and try to determine what is best for you as a couple.

Rebuilding a relationship can’t be fixed overnight but with compassion, caring, and consideration of your mate, success is right across that threshold. Learn the best ways to communicate ideas to your mate and commit to doing your share of the workload in the tedious process of regaining trust, honesty, and respect. You will find that repair will come with time and feelings will deepen with true respect. Reaping the benefits of what once made life more meaningful to you will make all the hard work certainly worthwhile. In the process, you will learn more about your spouse and yourself; your relationship will deepen and grow to wonderful heights of love.