Build Confidence In The Presence Of Women By Getting Rid Of Anxiety

Confidence is such an important factor in being able to talk to a person of the opposite sex, or anyone whom we are attracted to.  Some people naturally have confidence and exude it and others don’t. I’m not sure I agree with that statement at all, I have known many a person who in certain situations have a ton of confidence while in others act like they have no clue or no faith whatsoever.

How do you gain confidence? Remember the first time you tried to do the job you are now so good at? You had no idea where anything was or how it was supposed to be placed, how one part worked with another, what happens when a problem arises, it was so overwhelming, and the orientation didn’t help either.

During the orientation the instructional videos were dull and boring and threw so much information at you all at once there was no hope of you keeping up. Then you were expected to go on the job and perform flawlessly right? Wrong, didn’t you have a mentor, a guide, a foreman, or someone who helped teach you the job?

Wasn’t someone present to guide you along the way and make sure you kept calm? That is what I am going to try and do for you as well take this journey along the path that will ultimately lead to you having a conversation with Ms. Ten from the party. I am going to be your guide, calm your nerves when you get nuts and let you know it is ok.

Like any good teacher or mentor, I will let you know why you are doing something along with what to expect so your results are not a surprise and then you will have the confidence you need to strike up a conversation with someone whom you don’t know at a party, including the young beauty you had your eye on earlier.

Getting Rid Of Anxiety

If you have ever seen the movie Tommy Boy, and remember the scene where Chris Farley’s character demolishes the food in the diner after losing a possible sale; this is part of overcoming anxiety. In the movie, he wanted the sale so badly he mauled it until there was nothing left, this can be the case for you if you don’t have the right confidence in yourself and others to approach a woman.

In our case here, we have to build up your confidence and the only way to do that is to understand a few basic things along with getting out there and applying some simple rules to your approach. You also must know going into this it will be a bumpy ride, you are going to get turned down, you are going to be laughed at, and you are going to get some dirty looks, but that is all part of learning.

Before you go out into that crazy cruel world all alone there are some simple, basic things you must understand. The first of which is so obscenely obvious and simple you might slap yourself on the forehead like a V-8 commercial, but it is true; everybody’s human. Yep, that’s it, everybody is human, simple basic, but what does it really mean in this context.

As far as we are concerned what you need to understand is the simple fact that everyone has flaws and has something they are very self-conscious about. This is part of what makes us all human and is a natural feeling, so what are you actually self-conscious about? Do you have trouble starting a conversation, not just with a pretty girl, but with anyone, do you feel light headed in a crowded room, are you afraid someone will notice one of your eyes is slightly higher than the other?

All of these things are quite natural worries when starting a conversation with anyone and knowing what causes you anxiety is one sure way to make sure you are aware of it and able to fight through it when it presents itself to you, so look in that mirror again and tell yourself what it is you fear and what makes you feel anxiety, now let’s go take care of a few social ones.

If when you looked in the mirror you told yourself you fear bugs, spiders, snakes and other creepy crawly things, call an exterminator, but as far as the social anxieties of starting a conversation, being comfortable with strangers, and knowing they have anxieties as well, I can help. The trick is really quite simple; you have to get into uncomfortable situations to figure out how to be at least more comfortable in them the next time.

With a simple understanding of humans all feeling a bit of anxiety the next part of what you must understand is we all want to be accepted.  It is a natural feeling for anyone to want to be part of a group. Remember when going through school, groups formed based on some form of a common bond, whether it was because of social status, a common interest, or because no other group wanted them, groups also known as clicks in school were formed.

Every member of a group felt some form of belonging because they belonged to a group that accepted them, sometimes someone would try and join different groups and had to learn how that group functioned and what was accepted and what was not. That is no different when trying to talk to someone at a party or function.

If you go to a party where everyone is dressed up and looking fancy and you have on a pair of jeans with holes in them and a t-shirt, you are not going to fit in at all. In fact it’s much more likely you will be shunned and want to leave very quickly, because it is important to fit in and be accepted.

Making sure you understand how important the anxiety of every human is and the need to fit in and be accepted is as well, is the simple basis for getting over your own anxiety and moving toward your goal. Now that we have those two issues covered, let’s jump into some exercises the help you along the way.

Talking and Flirting To Get Laid – Is it just theory?

We’ve all seen an example of the smooth operator who can bang any girl he wants. He’s got them all panting after him. Homely girls, hot girls – they all want him.

These kinds of guys seem to have been born with the ability of knowing exactly how to talk to women. They know what to say to have a never-ending line of girls to have sex with.

The rest of us are pretty inept when it comes to women. We don’t know the right way to talk to them or flirt with them much less get them to want to jump into bed with us.

Unlike the smooth operator, the average man struggles when it comes to socializing with women. The reason is because we work on different psychological levels.

A woman looks at a man and she’s wondering if he’ll be a good partner or a good father if they have any children. Meanwhile, he’s looking at her and wondering if he can get her into bed, how soon and if she’d be any good at it.

It’s just the way the sexes are wired, so it’s no wonder that there’s this communication divide that women complain about. We just operate on two separate levels.

Unfortunately, because we’re not given the ability to communicate effectively with women at birth, we lack the polish we need to have when it comes to interacting with women.

That’s bad – because it means we screw up, often right at the beginning of a conversation with a woman – and we nix our chances of getting laid. There are some common mistakes that guys make when talking to women.

You have to avoid these, but besides avoiding the mistakes, you have to know how to talk to them – and there is a technique for that. Men tend to talk fast, especially when they’re interested in a woman and they want to get her into bed.

It’s the hope and excitement that makes a guy tend to run off at the mouth. This is our sales approach and we talk fast because we’re trying to impress her. Talking fast backfires because what happens is the guy comes across as too overeager and the woman is thinking he’s too eager, so he must be anxious because he’s not getting any.

If he’s not getting any, it means other women don’t want it – which means there must be something wrong with him – that’s what’s going on in a woman’s mind when a man is talking too fast.

Another way that a guy screws up when talking to a woman is he focuses the conversation on himself. Again, he’s just trying to impress her so that he can get her into bed.

But the woman is thinking about what a self-centered, boring guy he is and she’s wondering how to make an excuse and slip away. You have to learn how to talk and flirt with women in a way that paves the way to get them into your bed.

How To Frame Your Own Mind Before Making An Approach

When you get ready to have a conversation with a beautiful woman you are going to be best served not only by your new and improved voice and body language, but also by being prepared.  Having a planned way to start you conversation with a woman will bring you ever closer to actually speaking with her.

How should you plan the beginning of your conversation?  What do you need to know and be ready to say when you have the conversation starters ready to go?   You need to figure this out way ahead of time because you certainly don’t want to be the fool who approached the group and went away stuttering and wetting his pants.
Let’s just hope it wouldn’t come to that anyway, but some of the best advice I can give as far as starting and conversation and being prepared is to think, imagine, practice, and act.  These will be the four combinations to open this particular lock; yes in this case you need more than just the one key.

What’s in Your Head?

The first combination to go with this key is to think.  If you find yourself as someone who has to remind yourself to breathe in and breathe out, this step is going to be next to impossible, but for the rest of us it should be pretty simple really.  What you need to do is try and figure out what kind of opening lines you are going to need at the next party or function you attend.

In order to start the old think tank going some research may be in order.  Try and find out as much as you can about the next function you and the woman you seek are going to attend.  Is it going to be a fairly formal party, or will it be a bit more casual, are you going to a function that has a theme or benefit attached to it, all these are pretty important to help you come up with opening lines.

Once you have found out what type of function you and the woman you want to talk to will be attending you need to think of what other people will be wearing.  If it is a more formal affair, everyone will be dressed up in their very best and fanciest attire.  On the other hand if you are attending a casual setting such as a backyard barbeque, most people will be dressed in shorts and t-shirts.

How people are dressed will help determine what you need to think about as far as what kind of compliments will be able to be used.  An example would be if the party is somewhat formal, you will know you can compliment a dress, necklace, shoes, or some other item a woman might be wearing.  On the other hand at a casual affair you might be more inclined to compliment a woman on how comfortable she looks or for doing well during an activity during the party.

You will gain an advantage if the event comes with a theme or supports a cause.  This will make things a bit easier as you can come up with ways to compliment a woman on how well she supported the cause or theme of the party, and if it’s a masquerade or costume party things will suddenly become even simpler for you to come up with great compliments.

With all these scenarios presented to you now it’s time for you to think of some great opening lines, but wait, in order to really be successful with this particular combination to the lock you are going to need to pair it up with our next combination, imagine.