The Wrong And Right Way To Text Messaging Women

You want this woman, so when you feel that she’s closing the window, you think the smart thing to do is to text her. Keep the connection there and keep the hope alive and surely that’ll change her mind is how many men think.

The truth about messaging with a woman that you want to sleep with is that there’s a right and a wrong way to do it. The right way will get you into her life and into her bed.

In fact, it can change her mind about you even if she blew you off in the past. If you text her the wrong way, you could possibly end up as joke material making the rounds between her and her friends.

And you end up with that opportunity gone forever if you make the same messaging mistakes that a lot of men make. Let’s take a look at some of the wrong ways that a man can message a woman.

There’s the caveman approach. These are messages that make her feel like she’s been hit by a truck or she’s being chased by a tiger. If you come across as too forceful or too powerful, she’s going to shut you down.

This means that you have to keep your testosterone at bay when you’re texting her. So power down and do the messaging the right way – the way that will get you the girl that you want.

Don’t take it to the other extreme or you’ll come across as the guy who needs serious help. These guys text in an anxious, needy kind of way that makes her think that she’s dealing with an immature, overgrown kid rather than a man.

While a woman will always want to help a needy man because of her nurturing nature, you can bet that help doesn’t mean into her bed. Texting a woman is the one place that you want to stand out from the crowd, but in a good way.

You don’t want your texts to be interchangeable with the next guy’s and the only differences are your names. If you send text messages that are just like every other guy’s messages are, these will translate into boring with her and they don’t end up leaving an impression at all.

But you also don’t want to message her like you’re auditioning for a comedy club routine either. Trying to be funny and her not getting your sense of humor won’t give you any points with her.

It will make her confused – or worse – make her feel stupid or think that you’re stupid. So don’t try to be a comedian. You can have a sense of humor, but you have to make sure that she gets it.

How do you know if you’re blowing it with your texting? She’s answering your messages, but you haven’t gotten one single step closer to getting her into bed. You’re trying to take the next step, you’re suggesting meetings or drinks or dinner and she’s always got a reason why it’s not going to happen.

You’re getting the text brush off but you just haven’t realized it yet. The number one way that guy’s go wrong when texting a woman is that put themselves in family member status.

Or friend zone. They send messages that ask how things are going for her, what was her day at the office like, blah, blah. Sounds real sexy, doesn’t it? The problem is that you’re thinking how you’re showing interest and some affection and concern for her well-being.

Meanwhile, she’s either lumping you with her friends or family and she’s thinking about other things. You want to use your messaging as a seduction tool and stream lined system.

Right Way to Message a Woman

If you’re thinking that it takes a volley of back and forth texts to get the woman that you want, you’re wrong. It takes three – and it really is that easy. But the kicker is you have to know what those three texts are.

You have to know how to send them and how to get her response. There’s a lot that you need to learn about women and this is one of the main things. They don’t want to read your little one-word responses or your short, cryptic text messages.

You communicate that way because you’re a guy and what’s wrong with keeping it simple? Nothing if you don’t want to get that hot girl to have sex with you, but because you do, you have to do the messaging the right way.

A guy’s normal response to a woman’s text is usually something like, “Okay” or “What?” or “Yeah, sure”. Lots of sexy stuff in that to make her hot for you. Not. You have to learn how to write things that make her burn for you.

And it all starts emotionally with her. You tap that and you really tap that. It only takes a few seconds to message her with, “I’ve been thinking about you” to open up a conversation that gets her ready to put out.

And it makes her think what a great, thoughtful guy that you are. It takes a little bit of learning to give a woman what she needs through messaging. But in the end, you get what you need so you’re the ultimate winner of the game. Want more great stuff on texting? Check out this great guide.

Create Circumstances To Go For The Kill

We are not actually going to kill anything here, let me make that perfectly clear. If you thought reading that subtitle I was going to instruct you on how to get this woman in the back of your van so you can wear her skin like the serial killer did in Silence of the Lambs you are very mistaken. I realize this section of the booklet is all about isolation, but that is not the kind of isolation we are after here.

What we are actually going to do is continue to gain the upper hand by inviting her to join you for a little quiet time. One of the easiest and most time honored ways to get a woman somewhat alone and be allowed to have some quiet conversation is to ask her to dance. This might be a bit awkward if there is no music playing, no dance floor, and no one else dancing.

If in fact there is a dance floor, people are dancing, and there is music playing (I certainly hope so or we are going to need a lot of those lovely white self-hugger jackets) pick a slow song and ask her to dance with you. You already laid the ground work by flirting with her in a way she probably has never been flirted with before, and you kept her interest by walking away for a while, so most likely she will easily allow you to lead her away for a dance.

While on the dance floor feel free to tell her about yourself, share a couple of your stories if you want, or just dance nicely and enjoy each other. Once the slow dancing is over you should ask her if she would like to go somewhere and sit alone so you can get to know each other better. At this point you have racked up so much control over the situation this should be a formality and now you can finally have the conversation you have been after for so long.

If there is no dancing, don’t start any, the woman may not want everyone watching her start the dancing so be mindful of that fact. How do you get the woman alone with you without the ploy of being able to dance together? What if she is in a group is there some type of protocol for getting her by herself?

Let’s address the first question first, how do you get her alone when there is not dancing involved. If she is alone you just need to go up to her and ask her if she would mind sitting down with you or going to another area where the two of you can get to know each other better.  Because you have already laid out a ton of ground work on this one she should readily accept your invitation and be excited to join you and get to know you better.

In this case if she is already sitting at a table by herself all you really have to do is ask her if she minds if you sit down and join her. Since you have already had a nice flirtation with her before this you should easily be invited to sit down.  At this point, let her know you really want to get to know her better.  Once the conversation starts, it’s time to start telling some of your stories you worked on before.

On the other hand, if this lovely lady is in a group how are you going to be able to get her alone and what should you say? Not only what should you say, but who should you say it to? First of all you need to ask one of her friends in the group if they mind if you borrow their friend for a while. By asking their permission first you are showing she currently belongs to the group and you need the group approval to borrow her.

If the friend agrees to allow you to take her away, then turn to the woman you want to talk to and ask her if she would accompany you to sit down and have a conversation, or go to another area around the party where you can talk.

Earlier I asked you to find a good location where you plan to take this woman and I suggested they be in view of the party, there is a reason for this. If you take her to an area where you can’t hear the party or see the party going on, then you effectively become a threat and her guard goes up very quickly.

If you instead take her to a quiet table where you can both see the party and the party can see you, then you are not a threat at all. She will feel very relaxed and comfortable with you and accept that you only have good intentions for you. This will allow her to focus on you and what you have to say instead of worrying where her next exit is.

However, if the only good places to take her are away from the party, especially outside or in another room, be sure to position yourself so she has a free and clear exit away from you back to the safety of the party. Again this gives her some safety and a feeling of security which is very important as she has made herself vulnerable for you.

Keep in mind in this scenario she has given control over the location and situation to you, it is up to you to be a caretaker for her and not to cause her guard to go up. If you have this thought in the front of your mind and heed my instruction to either be visible to the party or be able to exit safely and quickly, you can keep her happy and feeling safe and secure with you, another plus for you when getting to know her.

Getting To The Finish Line In A Classic Pickup

It’s not really a race, but there is a goal in mind when you meet a woman you are attracted to and have a great conversation with and that goal is a kiss. Depending on the setting, how private the area you are at and the amount of attraction will determine what kind of kiss is really appropriate. You might not want to dive in tongue hanging out and slobber all over her like a Saint Bernard who hasn’t seen its owner in a month. Nor do you want to have your first kiss be the kind you might give to your Grandmother who smells funny either.

The important part of this section isn’t really the type of kiss, although you should be looking for a nice easy soft kiss and let her take charge of the duration and intensity, but rather your focus needs to be more along the lines of when is it appropriate to kiss her.

Setting the scene back up, you have spent all evening with this lovely woman, you have laughed, shared stories, flirted some, and have been holding hands together ever since you told her you could read her palm, how do you ask her for a kiss without sounding like a fool? The other question to this is, do you just go in for a kiss or should you ask?

First of all, the best way to save face, and make sure you are both on the same page is to ask her, so the answer to the second question is no you don’t just dive in like a swimmer heading to the deep end of a swimming pool. It’s appropriate for you to ask and you can ask a couple of different ways.

One way to ask her is to turn the question around on her. Rather than asking her if you can kiss her, ask her if she would like to kiss you. By doing this you can prepare to respond to her either way it goes. If she says “no” then you can respond by telling her you wouldn’t let her kiss you anyway. This makes the question a small flirtation on your part and hopefully will get her thinking about kissing you.

The other way you can ask her for a kiss is to be very straightforward and ask if you can kiss her. The real downside here would be an answer of “no” because you have left yourself vulnerable to her decision, but sometimes a woman likes to see a man show a bit of a vulnerability, so if you feel this is the best way to go about it then by all means go ahead.

Our wonderful “friends” would tell you not to ask, but to just dive right in and take the kiss when you feel it is right. They also tell you to take control of the situation and “be a man” by determining the duration and intensity, they are wrong. By allowing her to determine not only if you two are going to kiss, but also for how long and how strong you are once again showing her that you see her as an equal, not a prize to be won, not a subordinate, but an equal and one who has value.

The other problem with our “oh so sage, expert” advice is what happens if she doesn’t want the kiss. You might only get to kiss her cheek, she might reach up and slap you, and all your efforts will be lost. What was a nice conversation and turning out to be a great night could be ruined by you being way to forward with her; exactly what we don’t want to happen.

Even worse, if she handles your pushing a kiss on her with rejection, but wants to save your feelings would be the “let’s be friends” line she might just give you. We all know that means no relationship is starting up tonight, so in reality to save your dignity and make this a comfortable as possible, please ask the woman if you can kiss her before you even try to.

A Bit of Common Sense

I know some say common sense isn’t so common, but let’s be somewhat realistic here. You could actually meet a nice woman just about anywhere. It could be at the grocery store, shopping center, book club, library, at a sporting event, or just about anywhere. Since you really don’t know where or when you will meet a woman who will grasp your attention there are a couple things to remember.

If the situation does not allow for it, don’t try and take her off somewhere private. If you met a lovely woman at the grocery store, she might find it very strange that you want to interrupt her task of food shopping to slip away somewhere private. A better idea would be to try and get her phone number so you can call or text her later. In this particular case a kiss would probably not be appropriate either, and most likely the conversation will not escalate to the point of getting a kiss in the grocery store, so curb that thought for a while.

Because you really don’t know when or where you will meet the woman you want to spend time with, don’t go looking. Our “advice gurus” once again would tell you to get out there and find that woman you are longing to be with. This simply is not the case, more often than not, you meet a woman who interests you in very unexpected way and unexpected places, so just make sure you are ready to put your best foot forward when the opportunity presents itself.

Planning Your Moves Before Approching A Group Of Women

How are you going to approach the young woman who you want to talk to when she is in a group of friends? What should you say and how are you going to make sure you win her attention? There again are several rules to this approach, much as any other approach and we are going to cover them here, but let’s discuss the friends first.

Why should you care about her friends? Because they will help to shape her opinion of you; you at some point are going to walk away from the group and you want to have made a great impression on everyone in the group, not just her. There are several ways to accomplish this, and we are going to discuss a few, but keep in mind your ability to win her friends over will go a long way.

By now you must be putting it all together and understanding why I had you trying your approach on strangers in groups at work and at the shopping center, all because you are more likely to encounter your intended woman in a group and not alone. If you haven’t noticed already, women tend to travel in packs when out in public and the protection of the herd has to be won in order to join.

With all that said, we again need to look at a few scenarios so we can discover the best way to approach a group. Again I will give you a scenario so you can see what the situation is and figure out the best way to find a way to join into a group, make your impression, and then leave the entire group wanting more.

More Scenarios

In our first scenario, your intended target is surrounded by a group of her friends, all women; she has a drink in her hand and appears to be having a great time. She is laughing is engaged in the conversation and just seems to really be enjoying the party, so how do you approach her?

In this case, and in each case that involves a group, you aren’t really just approaching her; you are approaching the entire group. It doesn’t really matter which member of the group you speak with first, just that you include everyone in your conversation. In fact the best approach will be to position yourself in the group so you are not directly across from her or right next to her.

If for instance your hostess happens to be part of the group you are about to join into, entering the group should be very easy. All you need to do is be sure to look directly at your hostess and thank her for such a lovely party. Once done you can turn to the person to your left or right and introduce yourself, most likely this will lead to introductions all around.

Success, you have quickly and easily joined into the group, and now can start by complimenting each member on something. This can be something they are wearing, their hairstyle, or even an idea they bring up during conversation. Don’t take over the conversation entirely, but rather interject small ideas and be sure to validate what each member of the group thinks.

By doing the work, much like you did with the other groups of women you have practiced on for so long since the last party, you will be included in the group. By placing yourself indirectly near your intended woman, but not right next to or directly across you will give off the impression that all you want is to have a nice conversation and a good time at a party.

At this point you have accomplished a couple different things, as long as you have included the entire group in the conversation, you have earned their favor and respect. Don’t forget to read their body language, if someone seems distressed or closed off, try and say something funny to bring them back in as well.

You will most certainly be asked about your goofy or crazy prop you are wearing, so make sure you have a great story that goes with it. There is no way you are going to have a group of women to talk to and one of them won’t ask you about the item in question.

When should you exit the group? How are you going to exit and still be able to talk to the woman you wanted to later on? Exiting should be simple enough, but the when part is crucial. You should leave when you have talked to all members of the group at least a couple times round, and everyone seems to be laughing and having a great time.

By leaving the group at this time, you leave them wanting more, especially if you told the last joke or story that they are all laughing at, you are absolutely leaving them wanting more and have won their approval. Simply excuse yourself to go speak with someone else, and make sure you do go speak to someone else, so have an idea who else you are going to go talk to. This could be your host or someone else you all know is an important member of the party.

In our next scenario, the lovely lady is again in a group, but it is a mixed group, men and women. The approach is pretty much the same as before. Have a question or two ready to ask the entire group and speak to everyone in the group. You may even win some points with the guys by being a bit self-deprecating, which everyone can sometimes enjoy. The person who can laugh at themselves is usually one of the most fun to be around, so don’t be afraid to be a little silly.

You can hopefully expect the same results as before, winning the group over, having everyone feeling very happy and full of life, so what comes next? You have talked to the woman you wanted to talk to, but is that enough, did you really do all this work to only have one brief conversation? Hardly, next we have to figure out how to close the deal.