When you’re in college, it’s crazy. You are finally on your own. After years of telling yourself that you can’t wait to get out of your parent’s house, the day has finally come. But wait! Your plot of having all of those girls come over to hang out with you alone in your new room still isn’t working out any better than it did in the 9th grade.
That wouldn’t be so bad, except that it’s been 10 years since you have been out of the house. In which case, whether you were popular in high school or not if you are reading this article, you have probably been asking yourself…
…Why don’t I have a steady girlfriend? Why isn’t it happening for me? Is there something wrong with me? Why is it so hard?
Well… The short answer to that last question is…. It’s all pretty easy. So to speak anyway.
The biggest mistake in my younger days…
When I was in my early 20s, I had no idea about how to get a girlfriend. There was this girl that we will call “Marie.” I was absolutely crazy about her. We talked on the phone almost every day, we went on a trip, and we were the best of friends (at the time.)
I would try everything to get this girl to be my girlfriend. Not as much as I would have liked, but we were intimate for a bit, I helped her when she needed (yea, the 30 year old me, would go back and kill the 22 year old me if I could.) But none of it seemed to work. I used to ask myself, how can I get this girl to like me? And how can I get this girl to be my girlfriend?
The other guy.
So after almost a year, I was just SHOCKED to see Marie, whom “I was so close to,” move on and end up shacking up with this other guy who was already divorced, twice, and already had 3 kids with 3 different women.
When I found out about her new relationship, I got angry and confronted her, and I haven’t seen or heard from her since. But I digress…
Throughout the year, after the small road trip Marie and I took together, and us hanging out when we could, since we didn’t live close by, the daily phone calls started to turn into weekly calls, then they just started to seem to bother her to the point where she actually seemed to be offended that I liked her.
Now for the 30 years old, and much wiser me, to answer the questions that I asked myself back then…
Marie was totally into me. If she wasn’t she wouldn’t have kept me in her life for as long as she did, nor would she have forever to get over the rejection.
She actually told her new boyfriend that I was like her brother, and out of all of the other guys who liked her that she cut off communication with when she started getting serious with him, she STILL wanted to keep me in her life.
“Well, if she liked you,” you ask, “why didn’t she become your girlfriend?”
Because at the time, I was stuck in the friend zone, and I lived like a bum.
I had roommates, I was moving from place to place, I could barely pay my own rent, and I didn’t have the most steady income in the world.
Because of the distance, I could hide it a bit, but women have an eerie, almost supernatural 6th-sense way of feeling to know exactly how well a man is doing in their life (I am not kidding, they really do.)
Also, women feel in the “now.” They don’t think about how they will feel in the future. Women also believe they have to find a mate, while they are still young.
Don’t be selfish. Don’t ask her to take a step down.
“Well wait a second,” you may be saying to yourself right now. ” I don’t want a girl who is only looking to use me. I want a girl who likes me for me!”
Listen to what you just said. Stop and think. When you realize how selfish you are being with that statement. You are ready to move on, and start becoming boyfriend material.
Women are not looking for one night stands (usually.) They are not looking to give someone their sympathy just as much as you are not. They are looking for what every single person on this earth is looking for. To improve their life.
How she goes about it however, depends on her character.
Women don’t want to take a step down. They want to move forward, become successful and reach the goals they have set for themselves. Every single woman on earth is like this.
Here’s a case study for you.
In Thailand, there are lots foreigners who have decided that they just want to stay there, and who may or may not be doing as well as many of the Thais, but despite their situation (unless it’s REALLY bad) they all have girlfriends. Why? Is it because they are paying? No.
It’s because in general Thailand is a very poor country, and many Thai girls (who have gotten very good at bagging foreign husbands) see being with an average guy as a step up in life.
If you decide to bring them home with you, and if she sees that you lack motivation compared to everyone else in her new surroundings, she will start to think that there is something wrong with you – and she will be RIGHT.
The Truth: Fix your own life first.
Fix yourself first. After that, getting a girlfriend will be your last problem on earth.
So, the best advice I could give anyone looking for a potential mate is to take care of yourself first. Once you do that, women will flock, without you even trying.