Get yourself out from under your bed, this isn’t that scary, it’s simple really, and you have learned how to talk to people you deal with all the time in public already, so why not a stranger that is not your clerk or bank teller, it’s time to test those skills.
A great place to start would be on a bus or subway; many people use public transportation daily and end up spending quite a bit of time on the bus or on a subway quietly with no one to talk to. Even if you have your own vehicle and don’t usually take public transportation, make yourself do it just to practice talking to women in a public setting.
The advantage is the fact the woman you are going to start a conversation with is stuck with you at least until the next stop so try it out and hone your conversation skills to a sharp point. The start here might be as simple as asking if the seat next to her is taken and if not sitting down. Once accepted, introduce yourself to her and shake her hand, be sure to smile and make good eye contact as well.
Just as you did in your group setting at work, compliment her on some item of clothing or her hair, or even her eyes, but keep it clean. If you compliment a woman you just met on her large breasts, you are really asking for trouble and a bag of frozen peas to calm the searing pain between your legs. But otherwise, just make a nice simple compliment to her.
Try and notice if she is reading a book, looking through a magazine or some other form of reading material and ask her about what she is reading. This should be an easy conversation starter. If however she is not reading anything, talk about the weather, or about her destination. All of this is really not too difficult, but remember this is the next step for you to get over your anxiety.
If you feel up to the challenge, once you get past the small talk, see if she will engage in a conversation about something more personal. What she does for a living, her views on certain topics that have been in the news, or even what her political affiliations.
Once you feel you have mastered the art of conversation with a stranger on public transportation, and have taken way too many bus rides for your own comfort. Besides, the bus driver is starting to know you by name and you actually miss your vehicle, it is time for you to try and talk to a random woman in another setting.
A great place to go is a bar, choose one that has a restaurant attached to it, and try and go when it’s not a feeding frenzy of angry hormones just trying to attach themselves to each other. It would be better to pick dinner time, or even a little before, like happy hour, when people have just gotten off work.
Some of the differences with this scenario compared to our bus scenario is in this scenario you will have competition for her attention, she most likely won’t be reading or holding anything you can use as a prop, and she will be able to get away much easier than our trapped victim from the bus. Make sure you go wearing your suit and watch from the previous chapter, but not the prop item.
This approach may take quite a few tries because you might not find a woman who is at the bar by herself on your first couple tries. Once you do see a woman who is alone at the bar, it’s time for you to make your approach. The routine is the same as it was before, ask if the seat next to her is taken, compliment her, and start some small talk.
It is actually possible at this point to strike a good dating relationship with the woman you meet at the bar and have you forgetting about the woman you saw at the party, however if that doesn’t happen you should practice this approach a few times until you feel you are comfortable meeting women at bars and other public places.
On the off chance you haven’t found success with this approach and maybe feel you don’t want another wine spritzer in your face or have to put another bag of frozen vegetables between your legs you might try to meet a girl at a shopping mall or shopping center before going to the bar.
The same approach applies, you might find a woman taking a rest outside a store, or possibly find someone shopping in the same section you are, either way, try to go to the woman and start a conversation. Many times these conversations are only going to contain small talk and not have any real depth, but that’s ok, this is just to get your confidence up so you can go try the bar again, or for the first time.
After perfecting your shopping center approach to women, you should hopefully be ready to try the bar scene and if you have tried it before, have much more confidence than before. But there are a set of rules you need to follow when it comes to approaching a woman that we must cover first before you go after the gorgeous woman you saw at the party.