We are not actually going to kill anything here, let me make that perfectly clear. If you thought reading that subtitle I was going to instruct you on how to get this woman in the back of your van so you can wear her skin like the serial killer did in Silence of the Lambs you are very mistaken. I realize this section of the booklet is all about isolation, but that is not the kind of isolation we are after here.
What we are actually going to do is continue to gain the upper hand by inviting her to join you for a little quiet time. One of the easiest and most time honored ways to get a woman somewhat alone and be allowed to have some quiet conversation is to ask her to dance. This might be a bit awkward if there is no music playing, no dance floor, and no one else dancing.
If in fact there is a dance floor, people are dancing, and there is music playing (I certainly hope so or we are going to need a lot of those lovely white self-hugger jackets) pick a slow song and ask her to dance with you. You already laid the ground work by flirting with her in a way she probably has never been flirted with before, and you kept her interest by walking away for a while, so most likely she will easily allow you to lead her away for a dance.
While on the dance floor feel free to tell her about yourself, share a couple of your stories if you want, or just dance nicely and enjoy each other. Once the slow dancing is over you should ask her if she would like to go somewhere and sit alone so you can get to know each other better. At this point you have racked up so much control over the situation this should be a formality and now you can finally have the conversation you have been after for so long.
If there is no dancing, don’t start any, the woman may not want everyone watching her start the dancing so be mindful of that fact. How do you get the woman alone with you without the ploy of being able to dance together? What if she is in a group is there some type of protocol for getting her by herself?
Let’s address the first question first, how do you get her alone when there is not dancing involved. If she is alone you just need to go up to her and ask her if she would mind sitting down with you or going to another area where the two of you can get to know each other better. Because you have already laid out a ton of ground work on this one she should readily accept your invitation and be excited to join you and get to know you better.
In this case if she is already sitting at a table by herself all you really have to do is ask her if she minds if you sit down and join her. Since you have already had a nice flirtation with her before this you should easily be invited to sit down. At this point, let her know you really want to get to know her better. Once the conversation starts, it’s time to start telling some of your stories you worked on before.
On the other hand, if this lovely lady is in a group how are you going to be able to get her alone and what should you say? Not only what should you say, but who should you say it to? First of all you need to ask one of her friends in the group if they mind if you borrow their friend for a while. By asking their permission first you are showing she currently belongs to the group and you need the group approval to borrow her.
If the friend agrees to allow you to take her away, then turn to the woman you want to talk to and ask her if she would accompany you to sit down and have a conversation, or go to another area around the party where you can talk.
Earlier I asked you to find a good location where you plan to take this woman and I suggested they be in view of the party, there is a reason for this. If you take her to an area where you can’t hear the party or see the party going on, then you effectively become a threat and her guard goes up very quickly.
If you instead take her to a quiet table where you can both see the party and the party can see you, then you are not a threat at all. She will feel very relaxed and comfortable with you and accept that you only have good intentions for you. This will allow her to focus on you and what you have to say instead of worrying where her next exit is.
However, if the only good places to take her are away from the party, especially outside or in another room, be sure to position yourself so she has a free and clear exit away from you back to the safety of the party. Again this gives her some safety and a feeling of security which is very important as she has made herself vulnerable for you.
Keep in mind in this scenario she has given control over the location and situation to you, it is up to you to be a caretaker for her and not to cause her guard to go up. If you have this thought in the front of your mind and heed my instruction to either be visible to the party or be able to exit safely and quickly, you can keep her happy and feeling safe and secure with you, another plus for you when getting to know her.