How much are you bringing to this conversation? Are you only telling stories that make you seem like a laughingstock, or have you found a way to add some variety to the story telling? What I am talking about here is adding value.
The value I mention is not in how much money you make, what kind of car you drive, or where you live, but rather what do your stories tell the woman you are spending time with. Are you telling her you are a clumsy buffoon who needs a ton of extra life insurance to make sure someone gets rich when you finally fall to your death? Or are you telling her you take risks you really shouldn’t in life?
The point here is simple, yes you need to have some funny, self-deprecating stories to tell, but you also need to talk about times you were a hero in a story, trips you have taken, occasions that have broken your heart, and others that have warmed your heart. I know that sounds like a lot, but you should have lots of time.
One thing to remember here is to work the stories in somewhat naturally. If you aren’t sure how to do that, have a friend or relative help you by role playing and working on it at home. Once again I am not guaranteeing any kind of success when you go out, but if you at least participate in some active role playing exercises and get the stories basically in the order you want to tell them, you should be more confident that you are prepared to deliver them properly.
This is all going to take quite a bit of work on your part ahead of time. You need to reach back in your memories and remember stories that fit all these categories. Think of a time when you came through for a friend in need, that’s your hero story. Think back to a trip that you really enjoyed and why you enjoyed it, that your vacation story. Another for when your heart was broken, whether it was by a woman or when a death occurred in your family or to someone close to you, and one more about a time that warmed your heart, maybe a holiday, or a visit from a relative you hadn’t seen in a while.
Once you have your stories and the proper order, and you have met a woman that is spending time with you alone on a walk, or at a nearby café, make good use of them. Don’t get so caught up in your stories though that you forget to ask her about herself. If she for some reason doesn’t simply offer up stories willingly, ask her a couple of questions, but don’t turn into the interrogator from the last segment, besides I’m sure you left your fedora at home anyway.
Another fantastic way to spend some “get to know you” time is to display a skill you might have. No it’s not a good idea to bring the swords and show her how many you can swallow, leave that act at the circus. But it is a good idea to have a simple skill such as palm reading that you could easily share with her.
This might be a little tricky to insert into your conversation, but if the two of you are spending time alternating stories and having a great time, you should be able to add this to the mix. All you need to do is let her know you have a special talent for reading palms and would like to show her. The worst she could say is “no”, so give it a try.
Of course, in order to demonstrate your skill, you will actually have to learn how to do something like reading palms, which thankfully you can easily look up online, or learn from a book and it might take one day of your time to learn it. Make sure you practice this skill while working on your story order with your friend or relative, no reason to end up fumbling over a bit of palm reading when your stories have been so great.
If you think palm reading is kind of cheesy, try and think of another small, easily demonstrated skill you can share. The point is, by using palm reading you get to touch her hands. Now we have moved the quiet somewhat private time from just a conversation to something a little more intimate with some touching of the hands, and so easily by telling her you are going to read her palm, which you actually will do, so again we have not tricked her at all.
Why didn’t I discount our wonderful “dating doctors” in this section; because they don’t ever tell you anything about sharing of yourself? If they knew how important it is to actually open yourself up and allow someone else to share a bit of you, they might actually have some real success, but they don’t.
Remember, the only person you actually have control over is yourself, so make sure you have your stories and skill ready before you go out to the club and maybe some lucky lady will get to see you show off your talent for palm reading.