How are you going to approach the young woman who you want to talk to when she is in a group of friends? What should you say and how are you going to make sure you win her attention? There again are several rules to this approach, much as any other approach and we are going to cover them here, but let’s discuss the friends first.
Why should you care about her friends? Because they will help to shape her opinion of you; you at some point are going to walk away from the group and you want to have made a great impression on everyone in the group, not just her. There are several ways to accomplish this, and we are going to discuss a few, but keep in mind your ability to win her friends over will go a long way.
By now you must be putting it all together and understanding why I had you trying your approach on strangers in groups at work and at the shopping center, all because you are more likely to encounter your intended woman in a group and not alone. If you haven’t noticed already, women tend to travel in packs when out in public and the protection of the herd has to be won in order to join.
With all that said, we again need to look at a few scenarios so we can discover the best way to approach a group. Again I will give you a scenario so you can see what the situation is and figure out the best way to find a way to join into a group, make your impression, and then leave the entire group wanting more.
In our first scenario, your intended target is surrounded by a group of her friends, all women; she has a drink in her hand and appears to be having a great time. She is laughing is engaged in the conversation and just seems to really be enjoying the party, so how do you approach her?
In this case, and in each case that involves a group, you aren’t really just approaching her; you are approaching the entire group. It doesn’t really matter which member of the group you speak with first, just that you include everyone in your conversation. In fact the best approach will be to position yourself in the group so you are not directly across from her or right next to her.
If for instance your hostess happens to be part of the group you are about to join into, entering the group should be very easy. All you need to do is be sure to look directly at your hostess and thank her for such a lovely party. Once done you can turn to the person to your left or right and introduce yourself, most likely this will lead to introductions all around.
Success, you have quickly and easily joined into the group, and now can start by complimenting each member on something. This can be something they are wearing, their hairstyle, or even an idea they bring up during conversation. Don’t take over the conversation entirely, but rather interject small ideas and be sure to validate what each member of the group thinks.
By doing the work, much like you did with the other groups of women you have practiced on for so long since the last party, you will be included in the group. By placing yourself indirectly near your intended woman, but not right next to or directly across you will give off the impression that all you want is to have a nice conversation and a good time at a party.
At this point you have accomplished a couple different things, as long as you have included the entire group in the conversation, you have earned their favor and respect. Don’t forget to read their body language, if someone seems distressed or closed off, try and say something funny to bring them back in as well.
You will most certainly be asked about your goofy or crazy prop you are wearing, so make sure you have a great story that goes with it. There is no way you are going to have a group of women to talk to and one of them won’t ask you about the item in question.
When should you exit the group? How are you going to exit and still be able to talk to the woman you wanted to later on? Exiting should be simple enough, but the when part is crucial. You should leave when you have talked to all members of the group at least a couple times round, and everyone seems to be laughing and having a great time.
By leaving the group at this time, you leave them wanting more, especially if you told the last joke or story that they are all laughing at, you are absolutely leaving them wanting more and have won their approval. Simply excuse yourself to go speak with someone else, and make sure you do go speak to someone else, so have an idea who else you are going to go talk to. This could be your host or someone else you all know is an important member of the party.
In our next scenario, the lovely lady is again in a group, but it is a mixed group, men and women. The approach is pretty much the same as before. Have a question or two ready to ask the entire group and speak to everyone in the group. You may even win some points with the guys by being a bit self-deprecating, which everyone can sometimes enjoy. The person who can laugh at themselves is usually one of the most fun to be around, so don’t be afraid to be a little silly.
You can hopefully expect the same results as before, winning the group over, having everyone feeling very happy and full of life, so what comes next? You have talked to the woman you wanted to talk to, but is that enough, did you really do all this work to only have one brief conversation? Hardly, next we have to figure out how to close the deal.