As we approach our next key to success we see this one is called value. I am certainly not at all talking about money, but rather what do you actually bring to the conversation. How are you going add your part of the conversation in and what do you think you should be saying to the other person?
Sometimes it is really hard to find value that you can bring to the group, have you ever felt that awkward silence when no one has anything else to say? That can be the absolute downfall of what was shaping up to be a very nice evening.
What you are going to have to do in order to add the value you want to bring to the conversation will be to have some topics you want to discuss prepared ahead of time. This is a whole lot different from your one liner to open up the conversation that we covered in the area of a starting line, which was just to get your foot in the door, now you have to perform. Similar to being a professional athlete, just because you have made it to the pros does not mean you have succeeded as a pro yet, that is what we are after.
You might be wondering how are you going toad to any conversation going on around you, what could you possible add that will show some value to someone else? First of all, you should realize you have to have a lot of value to someone they invited you to the party or function. So what is it that makes you unique, what do you have to share with the group?
In order to figure this out you are going to have to utilize some of your sources, friends and family, and start to do some thinking. I know I have racked your brain a couple times already in this booklet and you are screaming for me to stop invading your brain, but this should be a lot of fun, and can bring back some memories from yesteryear you may have forgotten over time.
Remember that friend or family member or group of friends and family you asked to help you work on your voice and posture? The same ones who made fun of you along the way to helping you stand up straighter and develop a pleasing tone and pattern to your voice will hopefully be the ones you need here.
What you now need to do is ask them to help you remember events from your past. It doesn’t matter how silly, serious, sad, funny or crazy these events were, they will have a different memory of how the situation played out and give you a different perspective to view them from. By using your friends and family and remembering these events, you will develop a list of stories you can tell at a party or function.
Be sure to write them down, why would you want to have these memories to share and not have them written down on paper, at least the parts you know you want to share with others. It will be good to have a good list of the stories, and be sure you have a variety of them. Using your friendly recorder to capture the events as your friends and family recount them to you will be very helpful for later when you try and make your notes.
Do you think it’s a good idea to be the hero of every story? The answer is no, if you go to an event and all you have to tell people about yourself is stories of wondrous deeds you committed to save a drowning cat, or pulled your friend out of a well, other people at the party are going to think you are just there to brag. Besides, unless you are a TV or movie superhero, most of the people at the party won’t even believe these stories, so mix it up.
Mixing it up might be difficult at first, you might find yourself stuck on one subject like an old record player when the needle gets stuck in a spot on the record. What is a record player, man I must be really old. Ok how about when the Blu-Ray or DVD player stops because the laser is stuck in a spot on the disc that has a scratch in it, is that a better visual for you?
Anyway, you need variety in your stories, make sure you have some that bring out a variety of emotions and absolutely have a plan to tell at least a few that leave you feeling a bit embarrassed, or at the very least the punch line of the joke. By incorporating this kind of story into the mix, you will show you are confident enough to allow others to laugh at your pitfalls as much as you have.
Now it’s time for that all important part of perfecting any task; practice. You will need to practice telling your stories to someone, anyone and everyone who will listen to you and might show at least a mild interest. Before you take them out to show them off to others, you need to practice at home.
Bring out your friends the recorder and the full length mirror and get to work. Pretend you are at the party already and start telling your first story. While telling your story, watch yourself in the mirror, did you lose your perfect voice, did your old posture and bad body language come back?
If the answer is no, then you are on your way to telling stories to others and capturing their attention. The next step is to listen to the playback of your story. How did it come out? Did you sound confident, would you want to listen to you tell stories, and is the story itself interesting enough?
All of these questions are important to answer before you get out there and lose your audience because your life has been a shelter boredom of snacks in your mother’s basement on the computer. Well, hopefully not that bad, and unless you are the “bubble boy” you won’t have any problem adding some interest and pizzazz to your stories.
After you have worn out the recorder and the mirror won’t even look your way anymore, try your stories out on friends, family and coworkers. How do they react to them? If they seem genuinely interested and laugh at the jokes, make sad faces at the sad parts, and appear to champion the hero when you do something brave in the story, then you are on the right track for sure.