This might sound scary, but now you have learned to talk to all kinds of strangers, so it really isn’t that much different from before. If you have a work setting that affords you the opportunity to engage in conversation with several women find a way to utilize this setting first.
Maybe there is a group of women who eat lunch together, try and join in, maybe another group likes to take a smoke break together, I’m not telling you to light up, but you can talk to them while they smoke, maybe another group of women head off to the restroom together….well, you better leave that group alone. No reason to get pepper spray in your eyes if you can avoid it and it’s probably frowned upon at work anyway.
The point is, start with something that is inside your comfort zone. Your work environment is simple, should be people you know at least a little bit, and easy for a practice. The next part though, what do you say when you get up to the group so you don’t come off looking like a stalker or a retard?
One of the easiest things to do is to compliment at least one woman on something she is wearing or her hair. Very easy, and once done many times some of the other ladies will also compliment her. But don’t stop there; find a way to complement each member of the group on something different from the rest. Before you know it they will be complimenting you as well and everyone will feel great about themselves.
So now you have a complimenting love fest going on and you all feel great, how do you keep the conversation going, what should you talk about? Hopefully at least one of the women will fill you in on the discussion topic that was taking place before you arrived on the scene, but if not you can simply ask them.
If the conversation was about work, listen, add some feedback, and ask questions. Again, keep your questions open ended, that way they have to put some thought into their answers. Also, be sure to validate what anyone adds to the conversation, with compliments such as “Good thought” or “that’s an interesting view” so everyone feels included and like a valued contributor.
The reason you want to start in on the conversation of the group as soon as you enter the group is to avoid the anxiety of talking to women in a group. If you wait to talk your hands are going to sweat, your mouth will dry up and all the anxiety you have felt before will be right back with you and then you will have to start this process all over again.
That is why it is really important to immediately start speaking when you enter the group, don’t wait, and when you do approach the group of women for the first time, have an idea of what you want to say before you get there. If you go in armed with a simple plan, you will have a much better chance at success.
Now that you have tested the waters at work and have learned how to approach a group of women and begin a conversation with them, it is time to venture out and take on something a bit more frightening. You need to go in public and start conversations with random women, especially if they are in a group, out in public.