The Perfect Gift To Get A Girl For Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is like the Super Bowl of gift-giving holidays if you’re in a relationship. You have one chance to win or lose. It all comes down to one thing: did you get the perfect gift?ÿ

The good news is, you’re not alone. Guys all over the world are wondering what to get their girl for Valentine’s Day. They’re feeling the same pressure you are to get it right. But you have a better chance of getting that touchdown because you’re reading this article with tips on how to find the perfect gift.ÿ

One thing to keep in mind: girls communicate differently than guys. To a guy, a gift is a cool thing you give someone and hopefully they enjoy it. To a girl, it’s a statement of where you are in the relationship. They can and will read an entire novel into what you thought was a simple present. Getting the right gift for the stage your relationship is in will help make sure Valentine’s Day is happy for both of you.

A few rules of thumb to follow: women like thoughtful gifts. If it took you a little bit of time or effort to get or make the gift, she’ll appreciate it more. Practical gifts aren’t usually the best for Valentine’s Day. Yes, she might actually need a tire pump for her car. That doesn’t mean she’s going to appreciate one on what’s supposed to be a romantic holiday. Or, if you know her well enough to be sure that she truly does prefer a practical gift, include a card with a message you wrote or some flowers to give the gift that romantic feel.

Here are some more ideas based on where you’re at in your relationship:

It’s all new:ÿYou just started dating, you’re still deciding if this thing is going anywhere, and you’re wanting to keep things casual. At the same time, you want a gift that she’ll really like, something a few steps up from a scented air freshener for her car. Try giving her:

-A CD (or downloadable album) by an artist she likes. If you’re not sure about her taste, listen to some music while she’s around, mention that you love/hate a song that comes on, and use that to lead into what she likes.

-A scented candle in a scent she likes. Again, you can do some recon by walking through a candle aisle in a store when she’s with you. Mention one of the scents (for example, if you see one that’s a food scent, like apple, cinnamon, etc. you can say it’s making you hungry). Steer the conversation to which ones she likes. This is also a good way to make sure she’s not allergic!

-Chocolate or other Valentine’s treats like small stuffed animals, etc.

-Flowers.

It’s getting more serious:ÿYou’re at the boyfriend/girlfriend stage. You’re definitely feeling things for each other. You’re not anywhere near ready for commitment yet, but you can handle going steady. You want a gift that makes her feel special and lets her know you care. You might get her:

-A romantic dinner. This could be something you cook yourself (remember, effort counts) or something at a nice restaurant.

-Some earrings/a necklace/a bracelet (if you want it more romantic, go for more elegant jewelry, possibly with a heart theme. If you want it more casual, go for more fun jewelry and avoid the hearts.)

-Some perfume in “her scent”.

Committed to each other:ÿYep, she’s yours, you’re hers, and you want a gift that shows how much you love her. You might get her:ÿ

-A romantic dinner. Yes, this was in the previous section, too, but a Valentine’s Day date is a pretty common way for couples to spend the holiday.

-Sexy lingerie (if you know she’d be comfortable with it).

-A gift card for a spa day or other activity she’d enjoy.

-Jewelry, but go for the more romantic choices, such as heart charms, her birthstone, or a charm that’s symbolic of your relationship in some way.

-A more personal gift like leaving love-notes where she’ll find them all day or recreating your first date (or any important and romantic moment in your history).

While it’s important to get the right balance between casual and personal based on where your relationship is at, you can’t go wrong by doing something thoughtful or including a card with a message you took the time to write. If your gift shows you were thinking about her, you’ll both be the winner on Valentine’s Day.

How Do You Know If You’ve Found the One? – 7 Signs

You’ve been dating for a while. You think it might be getting serious. The two of you spend a lot of time together, know each other pretty well, and have a better time together than apart.

But is this it? Have you found “The One”?

Every relationship is different. What makes a person “The One” will vary from one relationship to another, but there are some common signs that what you’ve found is the real deal. If you can answer yes to most of these questions, you may have the person you’ll be spending the future with.

1. Can you talk to her about anything or nothing at all? You tell this person your deepest secrets or a silly cat story without worrying that she’ll think less of you. You can always find something to talk about with this person. You also don’t get bored listening to her. Well, okay, maybe the tenth time she told that story about the matching socks. But you’ll listen anyway because she always listens to your stories even when you’ve told them before.

2. Can you be silent with her? When you’re truly comfortable with someone, you don’t always have to be talking. You can sit in silence without feeling awkward.

3. Does she “get” you? She knows when you’re joking and laughs with you. She can follow your train of thought even if it jumped the track three stations back. She understands that the first scent of fall makes you a little sad, and she knows a hug goes a long way to make you happy again. She knows your sister makes you madder than anyone else on the planet. She knows you love her anyway. She loves her too, because you do.

4. Do you know that she’ll be there for you during, and after, an emergency? One true test of a relationship is how the couple acts when things go wrong. Do you pull together or push each other away? If you’re better able to deal with stress when you’re together, that’s a sign your relationship is strong.

5. Is she as proud of your accomplishments as you are?ÿ”The One” will cheer you on when you do something great, and push you to do better when you’re not at your best. She won’t be threatened or jealous when you succeed. She’ll feel like she’s succeeded, too.

6. Does she make an effort to connect with your family and friends? People who are important to you are important to her, too. She treats your family like family and your friends like friends. You do the same for her. Yes, even her crazy Aunt Sally, the one who knits you cat sweaters at Christmas.

7. Do you miss her when she’s not around? Are you happier with her than when she’s gone?

It’s important to remember that things don’t have to be perfect. You may disagree or need some space from time to time. But if you genuinely feel like you’re a better person when they’re around, and you trust that as you grow, they’ll grow with you, you’ve found your “One.”

Confident or Arrogant? How to Attract Women Without Being an Jerk

One of the few pieces of dating advice that almost everyone agrees on is that you need to be confident to attract a woman.

In fact, studies have shown that women are attracted to men they see as having greater status in life. The key there is “men they see as having greater status” – in other words, men who appear confident and certain of their own worth.

It’s good advice: Be confident in yourself, and you’ll be more attractive to women. The problem comes when a guy gets carried away with being confident, or worse, gets too convinced of his own awesomeness. There’s a thin line between confidence and arrogance. Only one of those two qualities gets you the girl.

How can you tell if you’re being charmingly confident or annoyingly arrogant? Or more to the point, how can you tell before she makes it clear by walking away in disgust?

The following five areas are were most men cross the line between being full of confidence and being full of themselves.The next time you’re out with a woman, stick to the do’s listed below and avoid the don’t’s. You’ll find that she’s she’s way more into you when you’re not so into yourself.

DO: Talk about yourself. It’s cool to talk about your accomplishments, your hobbies, anything about you that makes you interesting. That’s part of getting to know each other. Keep it focused on your activities and interests, not your possessions. Any girl who isn’t just after your wallet is more interested in knowing you went camping last weekend than in knowing you drove to the campsite in a new limited edition extended cab truck with all the bells and whistles.

DON’T: Only talk about yourself. It’s a conversation, not a monologue or a job interview. For everything you say about yourself, she should get a chance to share something about herself, too. And another don’t – don’t act like she ought to be impressed with how awesome you are. If you act like you’re God’s gift to women, she’s going to feel like you’re the ugly sweater her aunt gives her every year at Christmas.

DO: Admit when you’ve made mistakes. Whether you make a mistake while talking to her or you’re telling a story about the past where you goofed up, own up to it. Laugh about it if you can, or simply acknowledge that you learned from the experience.

DON’T: Blame others for things that have gone wrong. It doesn’t make you look stronger, less stupid, or more attractive. Strength comes from taking responsibility, not dodging it.

DO: Treat everyone with respect. Especially her, and especially the people serving you. She’ll notice how you treat people. Kindness and respect towards others shows you’re confident. You don’t have to try to make others look bad or inferior to make yourself look better.

DON’T: Be an ass. Really. It’s that simple.

DO: Express your opinions. Even if she clearly doesn’t agree. Have a conversation where you both share – and listen to – each other’s point of view. Keep it light, though, especially if you don’t know each other well. Heated debates can wait a date or two.

DON’T: Tell her how she should think, or act as if her opinions are dumb just because she doesn’t agree with you. Everyone likes to be listened to and taken seriously. If you do that for her, it won’t matter if you don’t agree. The fact that you’re confident enough in yourself that you can treat her like she has a brain means that she’ll still think you’re the most intelligent man she’s ever met.

When you’re confident, you don’t have to prove anything. You know you’re a great person. You also know you’re not perfect and you’re okay with other people knowing that, too.

When you’re arrogant, it usually is a cover for a fear that you’re not as great a person as you want to be. You’re desperate to hide that fear, so you try to put people down to make yourself look better.

A man who is comfortable with who he is as a person is much more attractive than a man who’s scared he’s not good enough. Show the woman you’re attracted to that you’re that confident guy. In a world full of guys acting like arrogant asses, she’ll be drawn to your strength and self-assurance.

How Not to Get Stuck in the Dreaded Friend Zone? (And How to Get Out If You’re Already There)

You find someone you really like. You’re not just physically attracted, although that’s certainly a factor. Your personalities just click. You’ve never known anyone who gets you as well as this person.
Maybe, you think, this is the one. Maybe…

Then you hear the dreaded words: “I think of you as a friend.”

You are now in the friend zone, the area where romance gets no signal.

Now what? Is there any chance you can turn this friendship into romance? Or are you stuck in the friend zone forever?

The good news is, it’s sometimes possible to get your relationship with that special person back on the track you want it on. Before talking about how to do that, let’s look at how you got in this situation in the first place.ÿ
If you’re in the friend zone, you probably made one or more of the following mistakes:

-You acted like a counselor, not a suitor. You have different conversations with your friends than you do with people you’re considering dating. Friend conversations involve venting about work, gossip about people you know (or read about in tabloids), or an in-depth analysis of the game last weekend. The focus is not on you and your conversational partner, it’s on the situation, game, celebrity, etc. If the conversation does revolve around you, it’s usually in the context of counseling or encouraging. A suitor will spend more time on “get to know you” topics and flirting.

-Your body language didn’t speak romantically. When someone is interested in another person romantically, they’ll use flirty body language. They’ll use grooming movements like adjusting their collar, straightening their hair, or brushing it away from their face. They’ll find reasons to touch the other person’s arm or shoulder. They’ll spend more time looking at the person they’re interested in. If you were keeping your distance and acting casual, your potential love interest is going to view you as a friend.

-You waited too long to ask the other person out. When you first get to know someone, there’s a period where you’re sorting out what kind of relationship you’re going to have. If you go long enough without expressing any kind of romantic interest, the other person will assume you’re not interested. Unfortunately, there’s no hard and fast rule about when your romantic window closes. It depends on how often you see the other person, how you know them, and how often you interact. The more you see them, the shorter a window you have.

It’s easier to avoid the friend zone than it is to get out of it. Once a person views you as a friend, it’s going to take some extra effort to get them to see you as dating material.

The biggest mistake you can make is to ask them out on a date out of the blue. If they haven’t considered you as a possible romantic interest, they’ll immediately reject the idea because it’s too far outside of their mental map of the world.

Instead, you need to show them that there’s a romantic side to you. Start by sitting them down and telling them honestly how you feel. Say something along the lines of, “Look, I want you to know there’s no pressure here. I like being friends with you. We have a great time. But the truth is, it’s not enough for me anymore. I feel too much for you to just be friends. I want more.”

If you’re lucky, they’ve secretly been feeling the same way and will leap into your arms. But just in case that doesn’t happen, here’s what you need to do next. Tell them you understand how they feel, and you hope they’ll understand that you need some time to deal with the situation. Then don’t see them for a while. Absence, as they say, makes the heart go fonder. You’re going to put that little truth to work for you.

If you work at the same place, this could be awkward. In that case, simply avoid them as much as possible and be friendly but distant when you do see them.

As time goes on and they don’t see you, they’ll think more and more about what you said. If they have any interest in you at all, it will start to grow as they wonder what you’re up to and if you’re still feeling the same attraction.

During your time away from your friend, you want to be as intriguing as possible. In other words, don’t sit around moping in the dark, hugging your cat. Go out and have a life. Do fun things, Get a new haircut, new clothes, a whole new look.

When your friend sees you again, they’ll be curious about the new you. The more interested they are in what’s going on with you, the better.

After at least a few weeks, connect with them again. From the start, act like you would when meeting someone new that you’re attracted to. Be flirty – not obnoxiously flirty, but give them signs that you’re interested. Watching them with a smile, “casual” touches, and compliments all signal that you like what you see.

If they start to respond, you know you have a chance. If not, you have to decide if it’s worth pushing the romance and possibly losing the friendship.

If you do decide to stick to friendship and move on to other people, remember what you learned from this experience. Show the new person you like them from the start, and most importantly, don’t wait to long to ask them out. Avoiding those traps will keep you from falling into the friend zone once more.

How to Tell If a Girl Is Into You Before You Ever Talk To Her?

Picture this: you’re out at a club or hanging out with some of your friends. A girl catches your eye. You’re interested – but is she? The question of how to tell if a girl is into you is one that confuses guys all over the planet. Luckily, there are signals a girl sends that tells you if you’re on her radar or not.

Let’s start with the pre-approach sign. You see her across the room, and you can tell she’s noticed you. How do you know if she’ll welcome your approach? Most of it comes down to body language. If she’s into you, she’ll do some or all of these things:

-Hold your gaze longer than normal for strangers. Normal manners say that you look at a stranger for a second or two, then look away. Staring is a sign of interest or aggression. So as long as she’s not baring her teeth or holding up a can of mace, there’s a good chance she’s into you if she doesn’t look away after a few seconds.

-Looking down or to the side, then back up at you. This may happen in place of holding your gaze, or it may happen after she’s sure she has your attention. Either way, it’s a classic flirting move.

-Smile. This is obvious, but obvious is a good thing in this situation. If she’s smile at you, she’s at least not telling you to back off. If the smile is combined with holding your gaze, or if she’s smiling while she looks away and then looks back to see if you’re still watching her, she’s definitely interested.

-Brush or flip her hair back away from her neck. This is an almost instinctive gesture. It says “I’m available” by exposing a vulnerable part of her body. It also allows pheromones to be released that attract men.

If you’re seeing those signs, she’d probably welcome you talking to her. Once you’ve started the conversation, you’ll see the same kinds of body language and more if she’s interested. She’s also likely to:

-Lean forward a little when you’re talking. This is basic body language that shows you’re interested in someone.

-Keep her eyes on you. Again, if you’re interested in someone, you’ll pay attention to them when they talk. If they’re boring you, you’ll look around for a distraction. If her eyes stay mostly on your face, she’s got some interest in you.

-Laugh at your jokes. One way women communicate interest is by laughing at a man’s jokes. If she’s not interested, she won’t find him funny at all.

-Mirror your actions. This is subtle, so you have to watch for it. If you take a drink and she takes one too, or you touch your hair and she touches hers, that’s mirroring. It’s a classic attraction behavior that men and women both use.

-Remember things you’ve said, including your name. As the conversation progresses, notice if she brings up something you told her a while ago or says your name more than once. If she does, that’s a sign that she thinks you’re worth paying attention to.

As the conversation ends, it’s time to try the ultimate test of whether she’s into you. Ask for her number. If she’s attracted to you, she’ll give you some way to get in contact with her again. Make sure you follow up in the next few days to keep the attraction building.

Even though reading a woman’s signals can be confusing, knowing the signs of attraction will help you to figuring out if she’s interested in you. By watching body language and how she talks to you, you can quickly figure out if an attraction is building between you.

How (Not) to Attract a Woman On The First Meeting

If you’re like a lot of guys, it’s a complete mystery to you how a woman decides who she’s attracted to. You’ve seen two guys that seemed about the same to you approach women. One gets shot down while the other gets the girl, and you can’t see what made the difference.

On the one hand, there are some mysterious forces going on here. Pheromones, those invisible chemicals that send messages we can’t control, make a difference in which man is attractive to which woman. You also can’t control the fact that you might look like her jerk of an ex-boyfriend or your voice reminds her of the high school math teacher she hated. These things happen, and there’s nothing you can do about them besides move on.

On the other hand, there are a lot of factors under your control in the attraction equation. If you get those factors right, she’ll find you hard to resist. If you get them wrong, she won’t give you the time of day.
Here’s what to avoid when trying to attract a woman, and what to do instead:

Don’t be a stinky slob. It’s called body odor, not body perfume. Shower it away. A woman likes a clean-smelling man. A little aftershave or cologne can be nice, too – emphasis on “a little”. But one of the sexiest smells for a lot of women is that fresh from the shower, just a hint of soap smell.

Women also like guys who look like they’ve made an effort with their appearance. Whether that means a dress shirt and tie or just clean jeans and a shirt without holes depends on your personal style and where you’re going. The point is, clean, wrinkle-free, and stain-free. If in doubt, lean towards a little more dressy rather than a little less dressy.

Why? When you take care of your appearance, this sends signals to a woman.
–For one thing, it tells them that you’re confident you are attractive. A sloppy appearance looks more like you think you won’t look good anyway, so why bother?

-Another signal it sends is that you’re not helpless. You know where a shower and washing machine are, and you know how to use them. Unless a woman is interested in being your mommy, she’ll appreciate knowing that you have it together better than a lot of men.

-Finally and most importantly, it also tells a woman that you care enough about what she thinks that you’re trying to impress her. All people, men and women both, like to feel as if their opinion matters.

Don’t be (too) convinced of your own awesomeness. Confidence is sexy, but arrogance is not. When you’re arrogant, you act like you’re better than everyone else, never make mistakes, and have a right to treat others badly because they aren’t as awesome as you. Here’s what you’re telling a woman buy being arrogant: You’re better than her, she’s always going to be wrong, and you’re going to treat her like crap. What woman would be attracted to that?

On the flip side, you’ve got guys who are desperate to prove their own awesomeness. So they brag. All. The. Time. Don’t be that guy. You’ve heard the expression about showing vs. telling? Show you’re an awesome guy by treating her well, and you’ll never have to say a word about how great you are.

That said, it doesn’t hurt to make yourself stand out from the crowd a bit by talking about your accomplishments and interests. No, that’s not a contradiction. The key to attracting a woman is all in how you talk about yourself.

-Instead of bragging about how you’re the best rock climber this side of the Rocky Mountains, tell a funny story about when you went rock climbing. Leave out how incredible you are at it. If she’s into outdoor activities, she’ll be intrigued by the rock-climbing itself. When she finds out later that you’re awesome at it, the fact that you didn’t brag will make you look even better.

-Make it a conversation, not a monologue. When you talk about your interests, give her chances to respond. Whether she asks you questions about your interest or shares one of her own, the fact that you’re talking to her rather than at her is appealing.

-Take an interest in her accomplishments and interests, too. When all you talk about is yourself, you come across as being full of yourself even if you aren’t. Give her a chance to tell you what she’s done or what she’s into. If she doesn’t volunteer the information, ask.

Don’t be on the lookout for something more interesting. When you’re talking to a woman, keep your eyes on her most of the time. You’re not having a staring contest, but you also shouldn’t be looking around the room constantly as if you’re trying to find someone more attractive. That’s a huge turn-off – no one wants to feel like they’re second best. (Along the same lines, don’t act like your phone is more attractive than she is, either. If it’s not an emergency, don’t call, text, or browse social media while you’re talking to her.)

Don’t be focused on sex. You may be hoping for sex. That’s fine. But don’t make it obvious that your only interest in her is sex. If you do, she probably won’t have any interest in you. Women usually want to see if there’s a connection on a personal level before moving to the sexual level. So don’t …

-Stare at her chest – or any other part of her body – more than her face.

-Try to get her number without spending the time figuring out if you even like each other’s personalities.

-Talk about sex or your sexual conquests. Those conversations might come up later in your relationship. The first time or two that you meet? Keep the conversation on non-sexual topics unless she makes it clear she wants those conversations.

-Try to kiss too soon. A good rule of thumb: the first time you meet is usually too soon. This may vary a bit depending on the situation and what she wants, but if in doubt, don’t even go there.

Figuring out how to attract a woman isn’t as mysterious as it might seem at first. Just follow some simple rules: look good, smell good, don’t act like an arrogant jerk, and don’t make her feel like you’re only in it for what you can get. Women are attracted to confident men who treat them well, so be that guy.

How to Succeed at Dating When You’re Shy

It’s tough to get into a relationship if you can’t even convince yourself to talk to the person you’re interested in. Shyness is a tough hurdle to overcome when you’re ready to start dating.

It can be overcome, though. With a combination of the following tips and some determination, you can figure out how to succeed at dating when you’re shy.

Let’s start by looking at why people experience shyness. Shyness is usually tied to a lack of self-confidence. It’s different from being an introvert, where you may be perfectly comfortable getting to know people but need some alone time to recharge your batteries.

Shyness actually makes a person feel uncomfortable when they have to draw attention to themselves. Since drawing attention to yourself is pretty unavoidable when you’re trying to date, many shy people end up avoiding the situation all together.

Does that mean you’re doomed to be alone forever if you’re shy? No, of course not. It does mean that you’ve got to be willing to take a few risks. The good news? The rewards are well worth the effort.

One of the biggest hurdles shy people have to overcome is their own thinking. If a lack of self-confidence is keeping you from dating, you’re going to have to build up your own self-confidence before you’ll get anywhere. On the plus side, you have a lot more going for you than you’re giving yourself credit for. That’s the nature of shy people – they’re focused on bad things that might happen rather than good things that have happened.

To start building your self-confidence, try these strategies:

-Make a list of things you’ve done that you’re proud of. Keep the list where you can look over it and add to it. Mentally give yourself credit for what you’ve accomplished in your life, and remind yourself of all you’ve done when you’re feeling uncertain or shy.

-Create an affirmation. Depending on your personality, this may sound perfectly reasonable or perfectly hokey. Whatever your opinions of it, it works. Think about what your best self would be. Creative, funny, courageous? Write it out in a sentence or two like this: “I am creative, funny, and courageous. I live my life without fear or regrets.” Repeat your affirmation to yourself several times a day, every day. Do it when you’re calm and can focus on the meaning of the words, but also use it in situations where you’re feeling nervous or shy. It won’t happen overnight, but you will slowly come to find that you believe and practice your affirmation.

-Deliberately do something you’re scared of. Nothing builds confidence more than proving to yourself that you can and will survive a tough situation. Pick something you’re scared of. It doesn’t have to be related to your shyness, although it can be if you want. Do whatever it is that makes you scared. Don’t focus on the outcome – it doesn’t matter whether you do it perfectly or not. Focus on two things: you were capable of doing it without quitting, and afterward, you’re doing okay.

As you’re building self-confidence internally, you can also work on the image you’re projecting externally. Your appearance and body language send all sorts of silent messages to everyone around you. Knowing what messages you want to send and how to send them can help you connect with other people.

Let’s start with your physical appearance. Here’s a simple truth: it doesn’t matter if you’re naturally attractive or not. It’s easy to tell yourself that it matters, that you haven’t had success with dating because you’re not as beautiful or handsome as the next girl or guy.

That kind of thinking is protective. There’s nothing you can do about your looks, right? They’re just what you got from the old gene grab-bag. It’s not your fault you aren’t a super model.

Sorry, but no. The possibly painful truth is this: the looks you’re born with don’t matter nearly as much as the image you project. Now, part of your image is tied to the clothes you wear, how you do your hair (and mainly for girls, how you do your make-up). But those things are under your control.

Even if you don’t know how to pick out flattering clothes or pick an attractive hairstyle, you can either learn or get someone to help you. (Hint: Try YouTube videos about how to do hair and make-up, plus Pinterest boards dedicated to your preferred style and body type.)

When you make an effort to look good, you send signals that you’re confident in your own appearance. After all, if you weren’t confident in your appearance, you probably wouldn’t bother to look good at all, would you? Interestingly enough, you also start to feel more confident.

Even more important than your style choices is your body language. Avoid “frightened” or “threatened” body language like hunched shoulders, crossed arms, or keeping your head down. Show confidence by keeping your head up and your body relaxed.

It’s also good to know what kind of body language sends “I’m into you” signals, both so that you can read them and send them yourself. Look for body language like:

-Holding eye contact longer than usual (but don’t stare daggers at them – hold their eyes for 3-5 seconds as you smile).

-Checking them out. Run your eyes over their face from left to right, down to the mouth, and back to the eyes, almost like a “Z” pattern that trails up at the end.

-Touching your hair. For girls, the over-the-shoulder hair flip is a sign of interest. For guys, smoothing down or fluffing up your hair (depending on the hairstyle) sends the same message.

-Smiling. It seems obvious, but don’t underestimate the simple smile. While it may not mean you’re ready to spend your life with someone, it at least signals friendliness. And for girls, the “look down as you smile, then back up” move is a strong signal of interest.

Let’s say you’ve spotted someone. You’ve both sent some silent signals across the room that let each other know you’d like to get to know one another better.

For a shy person, this moment can be terrifying. What if you screw it up? What if they’re completely turned off by you? What if you have spinach in your teeth?

The best advice for the spinach issue is to pause at the restroom and check yourself out before you go somewhere that you might meet someone. As for the other concerns, try focusing on the other person rather than yourself.ÿ
Shy people tend to get caught in a mental loop where the picture themselves doing something or being treated in some way that causes them embarrassment. In order to avoid the embarrassment, they avoid the situation. In this case, though, you want to be in the situation. You want to talk to the person you’re interested in.

To break out of the loop, don’t think about yourself. Think about the other person. Focus on what they look like, their name, details they share with you as you talk. Basically, keep your mind on them and not on yourself. As a bonus, the more you seem interested in them, the more they’re likely to like you.

Once you’ve broken the ice, you may find it easy to carry on a conversation and let your personality shine. If not, try this trick: have some “conversation fillers” in the back of your mind. It could be books you’ve read or movies you’ve seen, current events, or something related to the activity you’re doing when you meet the person. Having something to talk about when the inevitable conversation lull happens can relieve some of the pressure to be entertaining that can leave a shy person feeling tongue-tied.

Also remember that people usually love to talk about themselves. Ask questions that show you’re interested and occasionally share your own opinion or similar experience. The conversation will take on a life of its own.
Whether or not you decide to see this person again, you’ve overcome a huge hurdle: you put aside your fears and connected with another person. It may not be a whole lot easier next time, but at least you know you can do it. And it will get easier as long as you continue building your self-confidence.

How to Meet Someone Without Entering the Bar Scene

If you’re single and don’t want to be, you’ve probably encountered this problem: how do you meet someone that’s good dating material? The traditional solution – go to a bar – works sometimes. But it does raise a few issues.
For one thing, it often seems like the majority of people who go to a bar to meet others are more interested in hooking up than really getting to know each other. For another, it’s kind of a crap shoot. How do you know there will be anyone in the bar that you like?

If you’re sick of the bar scene, it’s time to try something new. Think about it for a moment: if you want to find someone who shares your interests, it makes sense to go places where you can do things you’re interested in, right? Here are some great places to meet someone that aren’t a bar or club:

Get involved in a sport. If you enjoy playing tennis, basketball, or even bowling, find a local adult league you can join. You may meet the person of your dreams there. Even if you don’t, you’re likely to make friends. The more people you know, the better your chances of being introduced to the person of your dreams through your friends.

Take a class. Whether it’s something you enjoy doing or something you’ve always wanted to learn, you’re likely to find a few kindred spirits when you take a class. You can find continuing education classes through colleges and sometimes through your city’s activities department. Hobby shops sometimes hold classes or at least have advertisements for classes given elsewhere.

Try a specialized dating site. You may have tried general dating sites before and sworn them off. In some ways, they’re no better than a bar. You have people with all sorts of different personalities and interests, so trying to find a match is difficult. Specialized dating sites cut down on some of the crowd by catering to people with specific interests. There are dating sites for geeks, horseback riders, farmers, book lovers, pet lovers … you name it, you can probably find a dating site for it.

Volunteer somewhere.Pick a cause that’s near and dear to your heart and become a volunteer. You may meet someone with similar values and chemistry you can’t resist.

Get political. If politics make you passionate. join the local chapter of your favorite political party. You’ll find plenty of like-minded people, and one of them might just be “the one”.

Go to a convention. Love movies, comic books, games, TV shows? If you’re a bit of a geek, there’s probably a convention for whatever you geek out about. And where there are conventions, there are fellow geeks who may end up sharing more than your interest in Dr. Who memorabilia.

Go to a music festival. On a similar note, attend a music festival dedicated to the kind of music you love. There might be someone there who strikes just the right chord.

Spend some time at a bookstore. If you’re an avid reader, there’s a chance your perfect mate might be off reading a book right now. The next time you’re in a bookstore, check out your fellow readers as well as the latest bestsellers.

Ditto music or musical instrument stores. Are you a music lover? Music stores – both the kind that sell CDs and the kind that sell musical instruments – are great places to strike up a conversation about the bands you love. Who knows where it might lead?

Check out Meetup.com. This website is dedicated to helping people “meet up” with other people in their area who have similar interests. It’s not a dating site. It’s for people who want to find a group to do something with – anything from hiking to knitting to discussing books. It’s a great way to meet new people who share your interests, and one of them might even end up sharing your life.

If you’re trying to crack the code of how to meet someone without relying on the bar scene, you’ve got to think outside the box. Put yourself in places where your perfect match is likely to be and build your network of like-minded friends.By doing this, you can increase your odds of meeting someone you can truly connect with.

Do This ONE Thing And She Will Follow You Home

When you’re in college, it’s crazy. You are finally on your own. After years of telling yourself that you can’t wait to get out of your parent’s house, the day has finally come. But wait! Your plot of having all of those girls come over to hang out with you alone in your new room still isn’t working out any better than it did in the 9th grade.

That wouldn’t be so bad, except that it’s been 10 years since you have been out of the house. In which case, whether you were popular in high school or not if you are reading this article, you have probably been asking yourself…

…Why don’t I have a steady girlfriend? Why isn’t it happening for me? Is there something wrong with me? Why is it so hard?

Well… The short answer to that last question is…. It’s all pretty easy. So to speak anyway.

The biggest mistake in my younger days…

When I was in my early 20s, I had no idea about how to get a girlfriend. There was this girl that we will call “Marie.” I was absolutely crazy about her. We talked on the phone almost every day, we went on a trip, and we were the best of friends (at the time.)

I would try everything to get this girl to be my girlfriend. Not as much as I would have liked, but we were intimate for a bit, I helped her when she needed (yea, the 30 year old me, would go back and kill the 22 year old me if I could.) But none of it seemed to work. I used to ask myself, how can I get this girl to like me? And how can I get this girl to be my girlfriend?

The other guy.

So after almost a year, I was just SHOCKED to see Marie, whom “I was so close to,” move on and end up shacking up with this other guy who was already divorced, twice, and already had 3 kids with 3 different women.

When I found out about her new relationship, I got angry and confronted her, and I haven’t seen or heard from her since. But I digress…

The withdrawal.

Throughout the year, after the small road trip Marie and I took together, and us hanging out when we could, since we didn’t live close by, the daily phone calls started to turn into weekly calls, then they just started to seem to bother her to the point where she actually seemed to be offended that I liked her.

Now for the 30 years old, and much wiser me, to answer the questions that I asked myself back then…

The reality.

Marie was totally into me. If she wasn’t she wouldn’t have kept me in her life for as long as she did, nor would she have forever to get over the rejection.

She actually told her new boyfriend that I was like her brother, and out of all of the other guys who liked her that she cut off communication with when she started getting serious with him, she STILL wanted to keep me in her life.

“Well, if she liked you,” you ask, “why didn’t she become your girlfriend?”

Because at the time, I was stuck in the friend zone, and I lived like a bum.

I had roommates, I was moving from place to place, I could barely pay my own rent, and I didn’t have the most steady income in the world.

Because of the distance, I could hide it a bit, but women have an eerie, almost supernatural 6th-sense way of feeling to know exactly how well a man is doing in their life (I am not kidding, they really do.)

Also, women feel in the “now.” They don’t think about how they will feel in the future. Women also believe they have to find a mate, while they are still young.

Don’t be selfish. Don’t ask her to take a step down.

“Well wait a second,” you may be saying to yourself right now. ” I don’t want a girl who is only looking to use me. I want a girl who likes me for me!”

Listen to what you just said. Stop and think. When you realize how selfish you are being with that statement. You are ready to move on, and start becoming boyfriend material.

Women are not looking for one night stands (usually.) They are not looking to give someone their sympathy just as much as you are not. They are looking for what every single person on this earth is looking for. To improve their life.

How she goes about it however, depends on her character.

Women don’t want to take a step down. They want to move forward, become successful and reach the goals they have set for themselves. Every single woman on earth is like this.

Here’s a case study for you.

In Thailand, there are lots foreigners who have decided that they just want to stay there, and who may or may not be doing as well as many of the Thais, but despite their situation (unless it’s REALLY bad) they all have girlfriends. Why? Is it because they are paying? No.

It’s because in general Thailand is a very poor country, and many Thai girls (who have gotten very good at bagging foreign husbands) see being with an average guy as a step up in life.

If you decide to bring them home with you, and if she sees that you lack motivation compared to everyone else in her new surroundings, she will start to think that there is something wrong with you – and she will be RIGHT.

The Truth: Fix your own life first.

Fix yourself first. After that, getting a girlfriend will be your last problem on earth.

So, the best advice I could give anyone looking for a potential mate is to take care of yourself first. Once you do that, women will flock, without you even trying.

How To Ask A Girl Out? – 10 Easy Tips For Success

If you don’t know how to ask a girl out, just thinking about it makes you cringe.

Fortunately, there are some very effective tips that will help you avoid these negative feelings and do it ‘right’ virtually every time.

If you don’t want to spend the rest of your life waiting for girls to make the first move, it’s time to take your dating life in your own hands.

Here’s how to kill rejection once and for all.

1. Be aware of your surroundings.

When you’re the one who’s about to ask the question, you have the advantage of planning your move in advance.

Use that time to consider your options. Every location has its own rules, and they may change depending on how well you know the girl.

Try to wait until she’s alone or with a close group of friends, and don’t make her uncomfortable by doing it at a place where she can’t get away. Even if she has no plans of running away, it’s best to approach girls in a relaxed environment.

2. Evaluate your chances.

Sometimes, the girl you’re after might give you some signals that will tell you she’s into you as well. Whether it’s a quick glance you exchanged at the bar or information transferred through friends, it can give you an idea of how likely she is to go out with you.

Feel free to evaluate your chances before talking to her, as long as you don’t let lack of absolute proof hold you back. Even the slightest hint of interest from her is good enough to make a move, especially since you can sneak your question in under the disguise of a friendly chit-chat.

3. Have a conversation.

Don’t just approach the girl and blurt out your intentions. Try to ease into it by making comfortable small talk, joking around and sharing a few good laughs. If it’s your first time seeing each other, you need to get her attention with something that will make her want to see you again.

Maybe the conversation alone won’t change her answer, but at least you won’t catch her off guard and will be in a less awkward position if she declines.

4. Be direct and confident.

It’s fine to approach the subject delicately, but make sure not to confuse her with uncertain signals.

She should be completely aware of your intentions to avoid any possible misunderstandings. If she asks you if it’s going to be a date, answer her truthfully and confidently. That question alone most likely means that she’s interested anyway, so there’s no need for backing out at that point.

5. Know how to take a hint.

Once you’ve actually asked the girl out, you have to respect her answer no matter what it is.

There are numerous different ways in which a girl can say “no” to a date, and almost none of them will include that particular word if she’s kind and polite.

Basically, any excuse or attempt to change the topic on the girl’s part can be considered a definite “no” and you can ease off, possibly exchanging a few more friendly words before going your separate ways.

If she’s interested, you will know by the way she smiles and flirts with you, even if it’s very subtle, so her verbal answer will serve merely as icing on the cake.

6. Have good timing.

You usually don’t want to ask her out at a bad time or when she’s preoccupied with something.

A simple conversation is a great way to find out if she’s busy and drop hints about your intentions so that your question doesn’t catch her by surprise.

7. Find out about her interests.

Even though there’s nothing wrong with deciding right then and there where you two want to go, it’s best to lead your date proposal with some suggestions. If you know a place she likes or have tickets to her favorite band’s concert, this will become much easier.

8. Keep it simple.

You don’t have to plan an amazing dinner at an expensive restaurant or a romantic getaway for your date to be a success. The key to having a good time with a girl is finding a comfortable environment where you two can get to know each other without too many distractions.

9. Don’t back out of it.

Are you having cold feet? Did you pick up hints of her not being interested before you even asked the question? Don’t let that discourage you.

The decision should’ve already been made before you approached her, so you can’t go back on it now. Ask her and see what comes out of it, or you will end up spending hours trying to figure out what she would have said.

10. Prepare for rejection.

One of the most important parts of dealing with fear of rejection is facing it head on. Yes, the girl that you’re asking out on a date with you can say “no”. It’s a real possibility, but there’s no need to blow that scenario out of proportions. It doesn’t mean anything more than the fact that you two are not compatible and wouldn’t have a good time together anyway.

Don’t waste your time trying to prove the opposite and just take one of the hundreds of other dating opportunities that life throws at you. The faster you move on from rejection, the quicker you will go on a date with a girl that’s actually interested in you.

Go ahead and apply these tips, and you’ll slash your rejection rate significantly, and even if you do get turned down, it will not be much of a problem.