How to Meet Someone Without Entering the Bar Scene

If you’re single and don’t want to be, you’ve probably encountered this problem: how do you meet someone that’s good dating material? The traditional solution – go to a bar – works sometimes. But it does raise a few issues.
For one thing, it often seems like the majority of people who go to a bar to meet others are more interested in hooking up than really getting to know each other. For another, it’s kind of a crap shoot. How do you know there will be anyone in the bar that you like?

If you’re sick of the bar scene, it’s time to try something new. Think about it for a moment: if you want to find someone who shares your interests, it makes sense to go places where you can do things you’re interested in, right? Here are some great places to meet someone that aren’t a bar or club:

Get involved in a sport. If you enjoy playing tennis, basketball, or even bowling, find a local adult league you can join. You may meet the person of your dreams there. Even if you don’t, you’re likely to make friends. The more people you know, the better your chances of being introduced to the person of your dreams through your friends.

Take a class. Whether it’s something you enjoy doing or something you’ve always wanted to learn, you’re likely to find a few kindred spirits when you take a class. You can find continuing education classes through colleges and sometimes through your city’s activities department. Hobby shops sometimes hold classes or at least have advertisements for classes given elsewhere.

Try a specialized dating site. You may have tried general dating sites before and sworn them off. In some ways, they’re no better than a bar. You have people with all sorts of different personalities and interests, so trying to find a match is difficult. Specialized dating sites cut down on some of the crowd by catering to people with specific interests. There are dating sites for geeks, horseback riders, farmers, book lovers, pet lovers … you name it, you can probably find a dating site for it.

Volunteer somewhere.Pick a cause that’s near and dear to your heart and become a volunteer. You may meet someone with similar values and chemistry you can’t resist.

Get political. If politics make you passionate. join the local chapter of your favorite political party. You’ll find plenty of like-minded people, and one of them might just be “the one”.

Go to a convention. Love movies, comic books, games, TV shows? If you’re a bit of a geek, there’s probably a convention for whatever you geek out about. And where there are conventions, there are fellow geeks who may end up sharing more than your interest in Dr. Who memorabilia.

Go to a music festival. On a similar note, attend a music festival dedicated to the kind of music you love. There might be someone there who strikes just the right chord.

Spend some time at a bookstore. If you’re an avid reader, there’s a chance your perfect mate might be off reading a book right now. The next time you’re in a bookstore, check out your fellow readers as well as the latest bestsellers.

Ditto music or musical instrument stores. Are you a music lover? Music stores – both the kind that sell CDs and the kind that sell musical instruments – are great places to strike up a conversation about the bands you love. Who knows where it might lead?

Check out Meetup.com. This website is dedicated to helping people “meet up” with other people in their area who have similar interests. It’s not a dating site. It’s for people who want to find a group to do something with – anything from hiking to knitting to discussing books. It’s a great way to meet new people who share your interests, and one of them might even end up sharing your life.

If you’re trying to crack the code of how to meet someone without relying on the bar scene, you’ve got to think outside the box. Put yourself in places where your perfect match is likely to be and build your network of like-minded friends.By doing this, you can increase your odds of meeting someone you can truly connect with.

Do This ONE Thing And She Will Follow You Home

When you’re in college, it’s crazy. You are finally on your own. After years of telling yourself that you can’t wait to get out of your parent’s house, the day has finally come. But wait! Your plot of having all of those girls come over to hang out with you alone in your new room still isn’t working out any better than it did in the 9th grade.

That wouldn’t be so bad, except that it’s been 10 years since you have been out of the house. In which case, whether you were popular in high school or not if you are reading this article, you have probably been asking yourself…

…Why don’t I have a steady girlfriend? Why isn’t it happening for me? Is there something wrong with me? Why is it so hard?

Well… The short answer to that last question is…. It’s all pretty easy. So to speak anyway.

The biggest mistake in my younger days…

When I was in my early 20s, I had no idea about how to get a girlfriend. There was this girl that we will call “Marie.” I was absolutely crazy about her. We talked on the phone almost every day, we went on a trip, and we were the best of friends (at the time.)

I would try everything to get this girl to be my girlfriend. Not as much as I would have liked, but we were intimate for a bit, I helped her when she needed (yea, the 30 year old me, would go back and kill the 22 year old me if I could.) But none of it seemed to work. I used to ask myself, how can I get this girl to like me? And how can I get this girl to be my girlfriend?

The other guy.

So after almost a year, I was just SHOCKED to see Marie, whom “I was so close to,” move on and end up shacking up with this other guy who was already divorced, twice, and already had 3 kids with 3 different women.

When I found out about her new relationship, I got angry and confronted her, and I haven’t seen or heard from her since. But I digress…

The withdrawal.

Throughout the year, after the small road trip Marie and I took together, and us hanging out when we could, since we didn’t live close by, the daily phone calls started to turn into weekly calls, then they just started to seem to bother her to the point where she actually seemed to be offended that I liked her.

Now for the 30 years old, and much wiser me, to answer the questions that I asked myself back then…

The reality.

Marie was totally into me. If she wasn’t she wouldn’t have kept me in her life for as long as she did, nor would she have forever to get over the rejection.

She actually told her new boyfriend that I was like her brother, and out of all of the other guys who liked her that she cut off communication with when she started getting serious with him, she STILL wanted to keep me in her life.

“Well, if she liked you,” you ask, “why didn’t she become your girlfriend?”

Because at the time, I was stuck in the friend zone, and I lived like a bum.

I had roommates, I was moving from place to place, I could barely pay my own rent, and I didn’t have the most steady income in the world.

Because of the distance, I could hide it a bit, but women have an eerie, almost supernatural 6th-sense way of feeling to know exactly how well a man is doing in their life (I am not kidding, they really do.)

Also, women feel in the “now.” They don’t think about how they will feel in the future. Women also believe they have to find a mate, while they are still young.

Don’t be selfish. Don’t ask her to take a step down.

“Well wait a second,” you may be saying to yourself right now. ” I don’t want a girl who is only looking to use me. I want a girl who likes me for me!”

Listen to what you just said. Stop and think. When you realize how selfish you are being with that statement. You are ready to move on, and start becoming boyfriend material.

Women are not looking for one night stands (usually.) They are not looking to give someone their sympathy just as much as you are not. They are looking for what every single person on this earth is looking for. To improve their life.

How she goes about it however, depends on her character.

Women don’t want to take a step down. They want to move forward, become successful and reach the goals they have set for themselves. Every single woman on earth is like this.

Here’s a case study for you.

In Thailand, there are lots foreigners who have decided that they just want to stay there, and who may or may not be doing as well as many of the Thais, but despite their situation (unless it’s REALLY bad) they all have girlfriends. Why? Is it because they are paying? No.

It’s because in general Thailand is a very poor country, and many Thai girls (who have gotten very good at bagging foreign husbands) see being with an average guy as a step up in life.

If you decide to bring them home with you, and if she sees that you lack motivation compared to everyone else in her new surroundings, she will start to think that there is something wrong with you – and she will be RIGHT.

The Truth: Fix your own life first.

Fix yourself first. After that, getting a girlfriend will be your last problem on earth.

So, the best advice I could give anyone looking for a potential mate is to take care of yourself first. Once you do that, women will flock, without you even trying.